12 Things Every Student Who Can’t Cook Will Experience
It’s not that you don’t want to cook, it’s that no matter how hard you try, the universe seems to be telling you to stop
1. You’ve set more than one thing on fire.
2. You’ve caused things to explode just by looking at them.
3. If you offer to cook, there’s a spontaneous and unanimous decision to have a take away instead.
4. Despite your best efforts in sticking to exactly what the recipe tells you, your meal will look like someone has thrown up all over your plate.
5. People will praise you if you have more than one ingredient on your plate, even if it is smiley faces, chicken dippers and beans.
You may offer your friend a smiley face at this point, but they won’t take it as they fear it’s not properly cooked, and to be fair, they’re probably right.
6. When you and your flatmates decide to have a group meal, your role is to set the table.
But you don’t mind.
7. It’s not uncommon for others to comment on the fears they have for your unborn children’s eating habits.
8. Supernoodles are a strong staple in your diet.
9. You burn toast, you burn pasta, and on numerous occasions, you’ve burnt yourself.
10. Breakfast is your favourite meal because you can’t go too wrong with milk and cereal.
That’s not to say it hasn’t previously gone wrong. But statistically the odds are in your favour.
11. You feel personally victimised when people post images of their meals on pinterest and instrgram, it’s like they’re deliberately trying to mock you.
12. The prospect of getting older and being invited to dinner parties terrifies you as you know the day will come where you will have to be the host.
You can see the look on their faces already…
It’s a wonder we’re still alive.