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18 Guaranteed Ways To Offend a Classics Student

“Homer Simpson?”

1. Ask what classics even is.

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2. And when they explain it to you, respond with: “I still don’t get it.”

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3. Or say: “Oh, so you study music?”

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4. Ask them if ‘300’ was a historically accurate film.

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5. And then go on to tell them that you loved it anyway.

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6. Then ask: “So you study ancient warriors?”

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7. Assume that watching ‘Troy’ counts as revision.

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8. Question what kind of job you can get with a Classics degree.

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9. Then suggest that teaching is their best and only shot in life.

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10. Tell them that classics is not a “real” subject.

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11. And justify that by saying: “But these things happened thousands of years ago, are they really that important now?”

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12. Whenever you see a Greek or Latin phrase, ask them what it means.

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13. Or worse, ask them to speak some ancient Greek to you.

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14. Then tell them that it’s a dead language and therefore it’s useless.

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15. Assume that classics and ancient history are the same thing.

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16. Ask them things like: “What is The Iliad?”

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17. Or: “Who is Homer?”

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18. Then just keep on talking about The Simpsons.

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