19 Guaranteed Ways To Offend an English Literature Student
Just stop. ✋
1. Immediately assume that they want to be a teacher.
2. Or a librarian.
So 👏 original 👏
3. Presume they’re an introverted bookworm.
4. And that they’re only capable of falling in love with fictional characters.
5. Say to them: “But don’t you already know how to speak English?”
6. Or: “Poetry is basically analysing song lyrics”.
7. Make any implication that they have no real future after uni.
8. Or that the subjectivity of their degree makes it easy to get a first.
9. Tell them that you read a book once, too!
10. Ask them to spell a really hard word just for the sake of it.
11. Make fun of their dreams if they hint they’d like to become a writer.
12. And tell them that this career will probably make them no money.
13. Use blatantly incorrect grammar.
14. Say how you wish you could get a degree by just reading novels all week.
“How fun for you!”
15. Or tell them English isn’t a proper degree.
16. And that anyone could do it.
You can do my neo-Marxist analysis for me, then!
17. Assume that they’ve only studied English because they don’t know what to do with their life.
18. Imply that their degree is a dying art.
Thanks for that. 🙂
19. And that they’ll probably have to study something else before they can enter a “proper” career.