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15 White Lies That All Solent Students Tell Their Parents

Sometimes we aren’t the students our parents want us to be, so to stop them worrying too much we all tell a few lies. But it’s only for their own good, right?

1. What you say: “Of course I’ve made friends.”

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What you mean: “I got drunk with some strangers whose name I’ve already forgotten.”

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2. What you say: “I came home quite early last night.”

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What you mean: “I was there until the lights came up and was physically removed because the bouncers couldn’t handle my twerking.”

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3. What you say: “I was in Mountbatten for five hours.”

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What you mean: “I mainly scrolled through Facebook and talked to my friends.”

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4. What you say: “Yes mum, I’ve been eating really well.”

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What you mean: “If ‘well’ means bacon sandwich’s, pot noodles and Pringle’s that were buy one get one free.”

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5. What you say: “I’ve practically finished my assignment and it’s not due in for another two weeks.”

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What you mean: “I’ve practically finished reading the project title and know what I’m supposed to being doing.”

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6. What you say: “I’ve seen loads of the sights of Southampton.”

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What you mean: “I’ve seen Yates, Popworld, Oceana, Tokyo, Buddha and I even travelled to see The Hobbit.”

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7. What you say: “I’m missing you loads, I’ll be home soon.”

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What you mean: “I will be home when all my money runs out and I can’t handle living off of chicken and rice any more.”

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8. What you say: “I still have plenty of money.”

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What you mean: “Please give me more money to ‘treat myself with’.”

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9. What you say: “I went to this really nice club called Jesters last night.”

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What you mean: “And by nice, I literally mean hell on Earth.”

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10. What you say: “I had a lecture at nine today.”

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What you mean: “I had a lecture but I didn’t make it.”

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11. What you say: “I only had like one drink last night.”

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What you mean: “And then I rewarded my good behaviour with seven more.”

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12. What you say: “Yes, I’ve read everything on the required reading list.”

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What you mean: “I’m not lying, I’ve read everything on the required reading LIST.”

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13. What you say: “No I do not smoke!”

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What you mean: “Unless I’ve had a drink or seven.”

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14. What you say: “Southampton is lovely.”

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What you mean: “It’s lovely unless you make eye contact with any of the locals.”

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15. What you say: “I always get up early so I can get everything ready for uni.”

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What you mean: “I actually just roll out of bed five minutes before my lecture and if it’s a good day I have a pen”

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