How Not To Act In a Job Interview, As Told by Coronation Street
It’s easy to spend a whole day watching the Corrie omnibus, luckily there’s a lot you can learn from people who spend all of their time in the pub.
1. Tell them all about your disdain for authority.
2. Give very short and vague answers.
3. Make it abundantly clear that you’re not a team player.
4. Don’t be afraid to insult their hospitality.
5. Show a complete lack of interest in anything given to you to look over.
6. Be open and honest about your feelings for your old boss.
7. If you don’t seem to be getting anywhere, reason with your interviewer.
Perhaps offer them prescription drugs.
8. Make it clear that you are a strong character.
9. When asked a question you find difficult, don’t be afraid to speak out.
10. Be sure to highlight anything irrelevant that may support your application.
11. When asked about any previous challenges, be uncomfortably honest.
12. If you’re struggling to think of an answer, stall for time by creating a scene.
13. When asked about yourself – unabashed confidence is key.
14. Emphasise your hobbies and interests.
15. Be creative when asked about the value you could bring to the company.
16. When asked how much you know about the company, emphasise the effort you’ve put into your research.
17. Try not to appear friendly or approachable. Play it cool.
18. Be very vocal about your commitment to the company…
19. …Or alternatively, play it really, really cool.
20. When asked if you have any questions – cut straight to the point.
21. And when you’ve had enough – just cut the interview short.
22. And be sure to leave a lasting impression when you go.
23. Finally – if they haven’t phoned you within 3 hours, feel free to leave them a message. Keep on their radar.
Now you know what not to do, you need to get some interviews lined up.
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