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The 9 Arduous Stages of Getting a Job In London

So nowadays it feels like there’s a monopoly on jobs in the South East, and if you’re living anywhere else nobody wants to employ you.

So there remains only one option, following in the steps of Dick Wittington and moving to the big city to seek your fortune. It’s a slow process though, and here are some of the stages you might go through when you’re making the move…

Stage 1: You’ve done it, you’ve finally graduated! All of the celebrations ensue.

Your hard years of work now seem entirely worth all of the effort.

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Stage 2: The realisation slowly sets in, you have no money and the government isn’t going to give you any more. You have to find a job.

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Stage 3: You realise there are no jobs. You’ve heard of a mystical place called London where they supposedly keep all of the jobs. You decide this is the place that you have to be.

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Stage 4: If you’re not one of the lucky ones that has family that live in London, this is it, it’s time to strike out on your own; time to go house hunting!

You soon realise this is somewhat terrifying rather than exciting.

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Stage 5: Reality dawns – Everything is far too expensive.

You decide that your only options are either to live no closer than zone 5 or to purchase a small shoebox, place it in a nice area and hope someone will start paying you rent for it.

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Stage 6: Finally though, you find a place. It’s not fancy, and it’s miles away from anywhere or anything interesting, but it’s yours! 

You feel like a boss.

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Stage 7: Having begun to settle in, you try and work out public transport and are consistently amazed and aghast at how many people there are.

If you’re from a small town in the middle of nowhere, this is very intimidating. In fact it’s scary even if you’re from what most people would call a big town, because there’s no place quite like London.

Though you quickly become a true Londoner and get very frustrated at slow-moving tourists.

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Stage 8: The new graduate schemes are released.

You go through the boring and repetitive process of applying to jobs you barely care about. You get the occasional interview here and there, but don’t expect much, until…

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Stage 9: You get the call, you got the job! Congratulations, let the champagne flow.

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So that’s it, the stages of moving to London and finding a job. Hopefully you’re somewhere near the end of the list by now, but if you’re not, just keep on plugging away and you’ll get there before you know it.

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