The 20 Stages of Writing a Last-Minute Essay, As Told By Pokémon
Procrastination, I choose you.
1. You realise you have a deadline coming up and have no idea what you’re writing about.
2. So you dash to the library, hoping you’ll find some inspiration there.
But you haven’t used the library since your last essay panic, so it’s hardly easy.
3. Still without a clue, you drag yourself to lectures you normally may have skipped.
Maybe they’ll be useful? Maybe?
4. But you can’t concentrate on anything other than that one person who just won’t shut up.
Seriously. Stop talking.
5. Eventually, you decide you need to just put pen to paper and see what happens.
It’s getting too close to the deadline now to have nothing written down.
6. But when you re-read it, the bullshit is clear.
You tried. You did not succeed.
7. You check the word count and you’re only 120 words in.
Wait, that’s it?! I’ve been here for like an hour.
8. So you sit for a bit contemplating why you left it this late in the first place.
9. And distract yourself with other things.
Like food, for example.
10. You find yourself cleaning your room, because priorities.
Because it’s not really procrastinating if you’re being productive, right?
11. Until someone asks if maybe you should be doing your essay?
Well, excuse you, I was living in a blissful state of denial.
12. And it’s only made worse when your friend says they’ve finished it.
Super. So happy for you. No really. Super happy.
13. You think about giving up.
But you decide you’re better than that.
14. So you decide it just needs to happen. The time is now.
At this point, it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be words.
15. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?
16. You think about who’s marking it. How can you win them over?
17. And suddenly – somehow – you’re on a roll.
Where it came from, who knows? But you’re not questioning it.
18. And maybe with a little help of some… distractions…
19. Finally – finally – you submit it.
20. And now you can go back to the usual routine of being in denial about life.
At least until the next time.