The 22 Stages of Your First Year at Uni, As Told By ‘Miranda’
Such fun! Sometimes.
1. Moving in is the most terrifying thing in the world.
2. Because you have to make a good first impression on your flatmates.
3. And you absolutely hate trying to make small talk.
4. It quickly becomes apparent that none of you know how to successfully adult.
5. And that, to be honest, none of you are going to try very hard to learn how.
6. You drag yourself to countless taster sessions and meet-and-greets, but everyone knows you’re only there for one thing.
7. And you struggle to sound cool with your new coursemates.
8. While worrying about whether it’s worth joining some societies or not.
9. Once lectures begin, you start off eagerly enough, but soon your standards start to slip.
10. Until you’re lucky if you make it into uni at all.
Especially when it comes to 9ams.
11. You’re rarely as excited as when your flatmate suggests another pizza night.
12. And you’re always up for a night out.
13. No matter how much sleep you get, it’s never enough.
14. And you’ll literally do anything at all to not do any work.
15. So you become a pro at making up excuses.
16. And pretending to know what’s going on.
17. Occasionally you feel motivated to get your first year back on track…
18. But it never lasts.
Not when the workload picks up, anyway.
19. By the time exams roll around, you feel like giving up.
20. And start to resent everyone who told you “first year doesn’t even count”.
Because it really feels like it does now.