31 Painful Stages of Looking For A Job After Graduation
The unfortunate reality of being a graduate is that getting a job is kind of a requirement – if you want money, anyway.
Searching for a job in the present climate can be really challenging for us graduates. Aside from the competition, we may also have to contend with these thirty trials and tribulations…
1. Online application forms.
You spend hours tailoring your CV, only to find that you didn’t have to. There is no ‘upload CV’ button, just hundreds of boxes to fill in. And they all have asterisks.
2. Entering your details again and again…
If only there was one universal job site for all jobs. You have typed out the addresses and phone numbers of your references so many times that you can recite them (which is actually pretty convenient).
3. Being under-qualified for the ‘big’ jobs.
You find the perfect job. They’re asking for someone with your degree and skill set! However, before you apply your eyes halt over the words, ‘a minimum of two years’ experience.’ You forward your CV anyway and just pray.
4. Being ‘over-qualified’ for retail work.
You have a degree, and you have previous experience working on a till. But you still manage to get rejected from your local supermarket.
5. Removing all mentions of uni from your CV in the hope you’ll get a retail job.
You remove your degree and forward it to shops and restaurants, but this still doesn’t work, as your CV boasts a mysterious three year gap…
6. The rejection emails come flooding in.
‘Unfortunately, on this occasion we will not be taking your application any further.’ You’re confused, because you fit the job profile perfectly. You’re fed up, can’t employers just tell you exactly what it is they’re looking for?
7. Not getting any emails at all.
If you thought rejection emails were frustrating, not getting a response at all is completely infuriating. Bit rude, considering the application took you hours to complete…
8. Missed calls.
You are excited by a missed call from an unknown number. However, your excitement turns to cold disappointment when you return the call. Just an insurance company.
9. Rewriting your CV to try and get better results.
You haven’t had any luck so far, it must be your CV! So you spend another gruelling day rewriting it…
10. Going to visit the Job Centre.
You have a 9am slot at the job centre and have to drag yourself out of bed, in the rain. Please, let this be worth it.
11. Being in the Job Centre.
The job centre is dismal. The patrolling security guards make you feel like a criminal, and your supervisor suggests putting you on a training course to help improve your employability.
12. Applying for jobs back at your Uni.
You apply for a paid internship with your own university, certain that they will prioritise your application above all others. You don’t even get an interview.
13. Starting to count the number of weeks you’ve not had a job…
The number of weeks you’ve been unemployed is greater than the amount of pounds in your bank account. How depressing is that?
14. Eventually managing to get really awkward interviews…
You have an interview! You dress smartly, arrive early, give the interviewer a firm handshake. You feel really confident. Then the interviewer asks you what you know about their company, and your mind goes blank…
15. And, of course, phone interviews…
You can guarantee that you won’t be able to understand a single word being said to you. That’s if you can hear them, anyway.
16. Constantly waiting…
You applied for a job but the application deadline isn’t for another two weeks. You ring up for some clue, but you’re told to check back later.
17. A younger family member manages to get a job.
Your little brother or sister has landed themselves a cushy job, and as much as you’re happy for them, it means even they’re currently richer than you are.
18. No one else seems to have bad news.
Your rejection emails are piling up. You scroll through your Facebook timeline and read all of the happy statuses about new jobs and promotions, wanting to die.
19. Feeling like you’re the last person left without a job.
Your last jobless friend calls you with some wonderful news – they’ve got a job! You are now truly alone and penniless in the world.
20. Your friends complain about their jobs.
You meet up with your friends and they all start complaining about how much they loathe their jobs. At least they have jobs!
21. Your family start getting worried…
Your Dad suggests that you go into work with him for a few days. He works in accounting. You have an arts degree.
22. Being asked awkward job questions.
Your extended family visit and start asking you awkward questions like, ‘What sort of job are you looking for?’
23. Friends of your parents start asking questions, too…
Friends of your parents visit and ask you about your career prospects. Then they start bragging about how their son or daughter has graduated and is working at a top law firm.
24. Beginning to doubt everything.
All this talk about potential careers makes you realise that you actually have no clue what you want to do with your life.
25. Tumblr reclaims you.
With no work to go to and no dissertation to write, you quickly become enslaved to blogging sites.
26. People just make you feel worse.
You have to deal with people who assume that getting a job is easy, and that you don’t have one because you’re not trying hard enough.
27. Extreme boredom.
Everyone is at work, and you’re stuck on your own all day with nothing to do. When the clock strikes 5pm, you ring around to see who wants to go out, but everyone’s too tired to do anything.
28. You’re even boring yourself.
You have devoted that much time to job hunting that you have forgotten what your actual hobbies are. What do you actually enjoy doing?
29. Living on £57 a week.
You spend your JSA on rent and one night out and have to live on spare change for the rest of the fortnight.
30. Feeling like you’re getting nowhere.
Three painstaking months later, and you are still staring at the walls, waiting for that call-back.
31. Finally getting a call back.
It might not be the job of your dreams (not that you know what that is), but it’s a start. Yes!
It might seem hard now, but you’ll definitely get there eventually.