18 Stages of University Life, As Told By Neville Longbottom
Neville Longbottom was the unexpected saviour of the Harry Potter series. He succeeded where Harry, Ron and Hermione- after all, he was the snake-slayer. Not to mention, he was the perfect example of what puberty can achieve. When his maturity rolled around, if you didn’t want to be him, you wanted to be with him.
But above all else, Neville is perfectly relatable, and a true depiction of students everywhere:
1. You were ready and excited to start university.
2. But that didn’t last long. You quickly started to wonder what the hell you’d signed up for.
3. Because your lecturers were weirdly relaxed.
You weren’t being spoon-fed information anymore.
4. So there was nobody to remind you to actually do things.
5. Especially given your lack of friends.
First-year lectures were a breeding ground for awkwardness.
6. You would have done anything for some company.
Unfortunately, your landlord said strictly no pets.
7. But you made some friends eventually.
In fact, you made a whole army of them.
8. And they taught you how to do this.
9. Which lead to some incredibly hungover mornings.
10. And some even worse seminars.
Reading with room-spin is not the one.
11. But eventually you learnt your drinking limits.
12. You adjusted your fashion choices to suit your student needs.
Even if the boiler worked, nobody knew how to turn it on. Time to bring out the knitwear.
13. And when money ran low, you would have tried eating pretty much anything.
14. Which backfired when you went home at weekends.
You forgot how to eat normal things, at normal times, in a normal way.
15. Debt collectors were not an issue.
TV licence – dealt with.
16. Neither were household pests.
17. Because basically, you bossed university.
In your own little way…