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7 Things Nobody Tells You About Being a Graduate

After the long library sessions, difficult dissertations, sleepless nights and tearful tantrums, graduating is the beacon of hope that allows third years to hold on while they slowly lose their sanity. The promise of money, freedom, branded food and liveable accommodation becomes a beautiful bubble that we wait for impatiently. Which makes it all the more heartbreaking when we find out graduate life isn’t that picture perfect dream we thought it would be.

Here is the truth about graduating – it’s not pretty.

1. The job of your dreams doesn’t exist. At least not right away. 

That job you’ve been dreaming of? The one which hires inexperienced graduates, has amazing pay, a laid back boss and great bonuses? Yeah, I’m sorry to say you’ll be fighting for that for some time yet.

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2. Flats are small and expensive.

If you decide against moving back home, you’re either going to end up back in shared student housing or in a studio flat barely big enough to stand in. TV shows like Friends and New Girl have really ruined our expectations of accommodation. The only upside is that you can have a shower whilst you’re still in bed, and cook breakfast at the same time.

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3. You will never get used to early mornings.

Whoever said getting up early comes in time was lying. That 6am alarm will never get easier, although you will get numb to the pain as you start to exist in a sleepless zombie state.

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4. Life will seem pointless for a while.

You’ve accepted you’re not going back to university, but suddenly you realise this means that your life is going to be an endless blend of boring jobs and hatching plans to murder your boss.

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5. You can’t handle alcohol like you used to.

If you manage to pull yourself out of your deep slump to party one last time, the reality never lives up to your memories. A bottle of vodka no longer makes you invincible; it makes you vomit uncontrollably and then pass out, leaving you with a three day hangover.

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6. Life becomes all about sleep.

At university, you slept because you want to and you had nothing else to do. As a graduate, you sleep because you’re too tired to do anything else. Those cultured day trips and events you thought you’d go to? You’ll sleep right through them. If you do mange to go, you’ll be too tired to even enjoy them.

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7. There’s no such thing as a graduate loan.

Whether you’re in an unpaid internship, selling your soul in a minimum wage office job or working part time, you’re going to be scraping the pennies just as much as you did at university. You’ll have slightly more to play with thanks to a lack of boozy nights, but most of that goes straight on things like council tax, water bills and national insurance. Where’s a graduate loan when you need one?

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Did somebody say Master’s? 

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