10 Phases of Dining You Went Through In Your First Year of University
Your first year of uni exposed you to a lot of new experiences. None more difficult than independent cooking.
1. The Domino’s phase.
You turn up in Freshers’ Week and Domino’s have kindly printed nearly £180 worth of vouchers for you and conveniently put them in your postbox. Two large Meatiors, two boxes of chicken strips, a side of wedges and a large coke – thanks student loan!
2. The experimental phase.
You realise you’ve never really cooked before, and with Freshers’ Week and your supply of Domino’s vouchers coming to an end, you decide it’s time to make something for yourself. Mum and Dad have left you with a stocked cupboard but you have no idea what to do with it all. After hours of Googling “student recipes” and “how to work an oven”, you eventually end up with tuna, backed beans and chopped tomatoes on one plate, with a dessert of canned peaches.
3. The walk home.
No student night out is complete without the large doner kebab with garlic mayo and chilli sauce.
4. The end of term survival phase.
Your loan is running dry so you purchase a 5kg bag of penne pasta and a bottle of economy tomato sauce to get you through the last weeks of term.
5. The first student Christmas dinner.
The feast of the year, sponsored by Iceland. The turkey is being defrosted in the bath because you forgot to take it out of the freezer but at least you’ve enough cheap peach schnapps to turn dinner into a drunken party.
6. The January health kick.
Exams are coming and you’re all partied out after the holidays. Oily fish and vegetables to kick start your brain for revision.
7. The Date Night attempt.
Your crush is coming over and it’s time to impress. You were given a Jamie Oliver book for Christmas but haven’t opened it yet – now is the perfect time. Nothing will be too hard in there, right?
Two hours later: Sorry babe, the meal’s wrecked. Will Dolmio Sauce and pasta do?
8. The Chilli Con Carne phase.
This is probably the first time you feel successful in the kitchen – it’s one for the record books. A night in with the housemates and the hottest Chilli Con Carne you have ever had. Sour crème and beers are essential for this. Who in the house decided it’d be a good idea to eat raw chilli to see how tough they were?
9. The emergency meals at home.
Student eating is getting too much. The budget is stretched too far to eat well and keep going out twice a week. It’s time to take the midterm trip home to the parents for handouts and a meal that doesn’t consist of ingredients with economy labels.
10. The end of term banquet.
Everyone is getting emotional and it’s time to have one last blow out until next year. Plus the freezer needs emptying. You now know your way around a kitchen and hopefully you haven’t destroyed too many kitchen appliances, you begin the most ambitious group cooking project to date with varying degrees of success.