The 18 Stages Of A Night Out Without Willow
Ever since Willow closed in the summer many York students have been lost. Where do you go? Where do you even belong any more? These are the (maybe sliiiiiightly overdramatic) stages of a night out without Willow. When all you really want is Willow.
1. You get invited to a random event you didn’t even know about.
Because if it isn’t The Willow, does it even exist?
2. To which you agree because Bae asked you.
And you have to go anyway as you’re on the committee.
3. There’s always the excuse that there’s no prospect of Willow, but you say you’ll ‘just go for a few drinks’.
‘I’ll only go out, not out out’ you say…
4. You head to Nisa on your way back from lectures and grab a bottle of anything that’s on offer.
You’d splash out but you’re poor af right now. It is Week 8 after all, amirite?
5. Everyone at the party ‘understands’ when you repeatedly insist you’re only there for a few drinks…
No one believes you but you say you’ll stick to it this time… That essay isn’t going to finish itself.
6. But after a few rounds of Ring Of Fire you don’t see the harm in going out for ‘a couple more drinks’.
Now you’re going out out… but not, like, out.
7. You head to your favourite bar for a couple of cocktails.
8. You end up getting more drinks because why not. Failing that, you grab a pitcher of the strongest bevs which gets you absolutely…
9. …Ready for Willow. You come to terms with the fact you have to settle for one of the ‘Willow themed’ club nights.
10. You eventually find one with a massive queue. You wait because you’re dedicated to the cause.
Even though you don’t really want to be at Fibbers, Mansion, or whatever place-that-isn’t-actually-Willow you’ve ended up in this time.
11. You and your friends get fed up and head out.
12. But you can’t help making your drunken way to Coney Street, because your brain is still tuned to it.
13. You stand outside Willow for about an hour crying at the door.
Fuck you Clinton Cards.
14. Your besties do what they can to console you.
But they’re probably secretly crying inside too.
15. You make your way to Oki’s in search of your favourite post-Willow snack.
16. Oki graciously gets you a cab. Because Oki has your back.
17. You crash in bed, after talking to your housemates about your terrible Willowless night.
For about an hour.
18. The entire next morning… okay, afternoon, is spent stalking old Willow Facebook pics.
Dreaming of the times when you could listen to Britney and eat prawn crackers at the same time ANY day of the week.