The 12 Stages of Getting In a Taxi Before a Night Out
You’ve spent all day preparing for your big night out, of course you’ll all be ready when the taxi arrives. Somehow though, the final few minutes always seem to descend into madness.
1. The five minute warning.
The announcement is made and everyone springs into action. Hysteria ensues.
2. Total beverage consumption.
First things first, it’s time to down everything. No alcohol can be wasted.
3. The heels hunt.
One of you will have misplaced a shoe, leading to an inevitable group search.
4. The bathroom mirror battle.
No matter how long you spent getting ready earlier, you now only have minutes to completely redo your hair and makeup. And suddenly everyone needs the toilet.
5. Concocting the journey juice.
You probably don’t need any more to drink but after a frenzied search for an empty plastic bottle, you carefully fill it with a mixture of any remaining alcohol. Somehow most of it ends up on the floor.
6. Clutch prep.
You stumble around your room in search of ID, house keys, bankcard and any other essentials.
7. Last minute photo op.
The chaos temporarily calms for one final snapchat story update. You all need a reminder of how good you look before you turn into sweaty messes in the club.
8. The final round-up.
You’ve never tried herding cats but surely getting drunken students out of the house is harder. How many of you were there again?
Fumbling with the keys, you regret downing your last drink. Why are doors so complicated? You’ll probably have to redo this anyway because someone got missed out in the final house check.
10. Meeting the driver (AKA your new bff).
If you end up in the front, you have the tricky job of apologising for your friends and making small talk while attempting to appear sober. Everyone announces that they have no dollar, “could we stop at the nearest cashpoint please Mr. taxi man?”
11. Requesting to take over the radio.
Because no night out is complete without a taxi sing-along.
12. And you’re on your way.