11 Ways To Respond When Someone Asks What You’re Doing With Your Life
Family and friends mean the best, but after a while the cringe-worthy conversation concerning your future starts to get rather tiresome. People treat it as if it’s the elephant in the room, something that needs to be addressed delicately, when really, we’d rather it wasn’t addressed at all.
Take three deep breaths, don’t swear, and try not to punch your Nan in the face – she’s only looking out for you. So take the biccy she’s kindly iced “Get a Job” on in loopy blue letters, and smile.
Here are a few ways to respond to the dreaded question:
1. Be honest.
If you explain to the asker, in great detail, the hours you’ve spent searching through job sites, filling out application forms and sending cover letters via carrier pigeon, then they will soon realise not only how hard it is to actually secure the job you want, but how mind numbingly boring trawling through the small ads is. Hopefully they’ll get the message.
2. Be positive.
If your Uncle Alan thinks that you might have something lined up, he will eventually stop asking you to go and work on his worm farm with him and your strange cousin who eats mud.
3. Be ambitious.
Go big, or go home. You should immediately start telling your family about your idea for a website selling jam whilst simultaneously blogging about music. ‘Jammin’ with Jam’ is bound to be an overnight success, everyone can see that.
4. Be emotional.
If you instantly burst into tears at the smallest hint of that sentence being uttered, people will soon stop asking. Or inviting you to things, which means more alone time with Netflix. It’s a win-win situation, really.
5. Be mysterious.
“Watch this space” is a fantastic way to shirk away from answering properly. To increase mysteriousness, invest in a cape to swish. People love a swish.
6. Be sarcastic.
Channel your inner Chandler Bing and use your humour as a defence mechanism. Could you be more unemployed?
7. Be drunk.
Because you can use the salt from your tears for your Tequila Slammer.
8. Be brazen.
If you really don’t want to answer, then don’t. Never settle for anything less than Beyoncé would – the asker needs to know they should immediately BOW DOWN.
9. Be strange.
It’s perfectly acceptable to scream in the asker’s face and run away. By now, you probably have a “Fuck It” attitude, so do whatever the hell you want.
10. Be mean.
Why not turn the question on the asker? Seriously, does anyone really know? Besides, these people need a taste of their own medicine – it’s only fair.
11. Or, if all else fails, lie.
You probably stopped giving a shit about what other people think you should be doing a while ago. Just keep applying for jobs or work experience, and your time will come.
Keep fighting the good fight.