14 Signs You’re Suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome
Does it feel like everyone else is, y’know, doing stuff while you just sit at home in your pyjamas? Is your Facebook feed filled with very mature statuses, declaring job or relationship success? Are you ok with that?
You may have graduated, but that doesn’t mean you’re ready to grow up any time soon.
You’re just suffering from a bout of Peter Pan Syndrome – you’re not ready to be an adult yet, because being an adult looks a little bit shit, doesn’t it? Responsibility sounds repulsive, work woe-some, and commuting completely crap.
If you can relate to any of these, it might be time to crack out the green tights.
1. Your mates are putting down deposits, while the only house you own is on The Sims.
What on Earth would you want to leave your childhood room for? It’s got that great, lived-in vibe, and your hilarious Garfield poster from when you were a moody fourteen year-old, just getting the hang of sarcasm.
Those are tears of joy from your Mum, not sorrow! She’ll love to keep you at home for a few more years, or even decades.
2. Everyone you knew from school is getting married, whereas you don’t even have a cat.
Even the kid that used to eat glue has got a ring on it. But you’re only in your twenties, you’ve got loads of time! And besides, you have the greatest love of all: your bed and Netflix account (that Dad pays for).
3. Your course mates are now working in industry, whereas you basically just get paid to do chores.
You’ve even considered asking for the paper round back that you had when you were twelve. But hey, you get by, right?
4. You were overwhelmed when you realised that your favourite ‘90s Kids Shows are available online.
Screw Adventure Time, it’s all about giggling at the innuendoes in The Powerpuff Girls that went over your head as a kid.
5. Your idea of Fine Dining is actually using crockery.
It’s so much easier to just eat out of the saucepan, but sometimes it’s ok to go all out and treat yourself. Besides, why create more washing up when…
6. You’d rather have potato smiley faces for tea anyway.
Basically any food that’s been processed beyond recognition, and fashioned into shapes: Turkey Dinosaurs, Alphabetti Spaghetti, or, most importantly, Jelly Babies. Delicious!
7. You have an aversion to bath time.
It’s only when your Mum starts wearing a gas mask whenever she dares enter your room that you realise that you can’t actually remember the last time you bothered washing. It’s not like you’ve had anything to do other than play Halo, so what’s the point?
8. You still rely on your parents to do your laundry.
Spin cycle? Is that some sort of new exercise?
9. Your job interview outfit is buried deep within your very disorganised cupboard.
You’ve reasoned that you’ll get a proper job when you’ve completed a few more levels of Candy Crush. The timing just doesn’t seem quite right, and your Horoscope didn’t sound very positive this week.
10. You hate having to schedule to see your friends because they actually have stuff going on.
Gone are the days where you’d just go down to the park (and later on, the pub) to see who was down there and having a jolly old time. Now, you actually have to make arrangements, and it’s all just so bleeeuurgh.
11. Filling out job applications is so dull that you’ve actually thought about buying a paddling pool instead.
Everyone knows you’ve made it when you’ve got a pool in your back garden, who says it can’t be an inflatable one?
12. You’ve worn your onesie so much that there’s a gigantic hole in the crotch, but you refuse to throw it away.
It’s all soft and smells nice! It’s been there with you through the highs of lazy uni days, and the lows of boring graduate lazy days (because, let’s face it, there’s a big difference between the two).
13. Because you haven’t bought anything new for so long, your parents have started giving you pocket money.
Which you spend on sweets and your favourite fizzy drinks that you’re not really allowed in the house. #YOLO
14. You’re in no way ready to take things seriously, and you just want to chill out this summer.
To be fair, you’ve worked hard and come out with a degree. It’s not a race – it’s life, and there’s a bloody lot of it left.
What’s the hurry?