14 Struggles of Living With Annoying Housemates
Living with others is like going into combat. It takes teamwork and strategy. There’ll be good times when everything runs smoothly and there are no casualties, but there’ll also be really bad times where you’d chew off your own leg to escape.
We’re all probably guilty of winding people up, because everyone has their own routine, their own way of doing things and their own attitude to cleanliness. Sometimes, however, your housemates are more like housemares.
The struggle is real.
1. When your housemates appear to have a lacking concept of volume levels
Whether it’s bad music you really hate, or they’ve somehow managed to fall asleep watching a bad Jason Statham movie on full volume, you will one day turn into Mr Heckles and bash your ceiling with a broom and ask the annoying kids to keep it down.
2. When household tasks that are supposedly “shared” end up being neglected
Despite the fact you’ve written out post-its and printed out the bin collection timetable for the entire year (including changes for Bank Holidays), it gets to the point where if you don’t do them yourself, they don’t get done at all.
3. Although your bathroom is over-filled with toiletries, the nice, semi-expensive products that you bought are the only ones that constantly run out
Instead of making a scene, you either ration your own portions of shampoo and conditioner, try to convince yourself that you have a rare form of amnesia and you forget each time you wash your hair, or you start keeping your toiletries in your room like a soap snob.
4. When your stuff gets used without permission
Because apparently asking is just too much of an effort sometimes.
5. But it’s worse when you go away for a few days and get back to find that most of your stuff is dirty and/or broken
It’s in these situations you realise that, “Sorry!” really doesn’t fix things.
6. Calling dibs on the washing machine when you have a large pile of laundry, only to find that someone’s jumped the queue
It would be the end of the world if that lone beanie hat wasn’t clean for that very important social event. Obviously.
7. When someone breaks an important appliance but they don’t own up to it
General wear and tear will obviously happen over time, but if a fairly new domestic appliance breaks because it was misused and everyone passes the blame, life can end up feeling like Game Of Thrones. The two key questions obviously being who is truly your alliance and why aren’t you drinking wine?
8. When you sensibly buy a big multi-pack of toilet rolls when it’s your turn, but then your housemate just buys a four pack, which is significantly cheaper and less economical
Or they don’t bother buying loo roll at all, so you keep a stash under your bed, or steal rolls from work or nights out.
9. Making the effort to buy yourself proper food, only to have your housemates eat it
You really can’t have your cake and eat it. No. Those aren’t the rules.
10. Opening the fridge to a rancid smell from ridiculously out-of-date food that doesn’t belong to you
At least you might get credit in a Scientific Journal because a new life form grew in a communal appliance.
11. Having to distract yourself from listening to obnoxiously loud sex
One of your housemates bumping uglies with their lover is not the ideal soundtrack to a Sunday morning. Especially if certain, harrumph, performances are less Oscar-winning, more Britain’s Got Talent rejection. There’s an obvious difference between getting caught up in the moment and trying to boost someone’s ego by over-acting. No one likes a show-off.
12. Overhearing or being in the same room as some of your housemates bitching about others and having a moralistic crisis
Do you tell or do you keep quiet? Either way, you’re going to be sweaty with nerves every time the bitchee enters the same room as you, because whether or not you agree with what’s been said, you know it’s not nice being talked about behind your back.
13. When your housemates noisily come back from a night out, neglecting the fact that you didn’t go because you have an early start in the morning
Because when you’re a tired sober person, drunk people are the worst.
14. Having to do an assault course through the house because they’ve left stuff everywhere
You must’ve missed the memo about hallways being really good storage spaces.
If only you could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles, eat it and all be happy.