20 Things All Graduates Miss About Secondary School
Of course, at the time it was horrible. You were a blob of teenage hormones in a blazer that you were promised you would one day grow into. Although it was tough, you got through it, and then you got through uni, and now you’re here, still not quite fitting into that blazer.
For many Graduates, Year Seven was a decade ago, and through those rose-tinted glasses Secondary School never looked so good. You can even overlook the terrible 00’s hair that contained so much gel you were a fire hazard, for life was so much easier back then.
For one thing, we had Turkey Twizzlers before Jamie ruined it for everyone.
1. You didn’t have to make time to see your friends as you spent every single weekday with them
And if they were in your form, you spent a solid seven hours straight with them. Now you have to book time off work, travel, or schedule Skype and FaceTime. Adulthood isn’t fair.
2. Passing notes was cooler than WhatsApp ever will be
Who needs emojis when you could draw a picture of a willy with a stupid poem and pass it down a table? Bonus points if your mate laughed too loudly and the teacher asked them, “If you find something so funny, please do share it with the class.”
3. In a mixed school, getting a girl/boyfriend was easy because they were just there
Staring at someone across the lunch hall followed by flirting with them on MSN messenger was all the game you needed.
4. In single sex schools, having a girl/boyfriend meant you were a Sex God(dess) amongst your peers
The first person in the form to be in a relationship was then forever seen as the Giver of Advice over all romantic matters, despite the fact they’d only held hands with a person once and it was sort of an accident.
5. Being Form Captain made you feel like the most important person in the whole school
You wore your badge with pride, and envisioned its glory upon your CV in later life.
6. Reading assignments meant two chapters max, not two books
“But Mi-issssss, that’s thirty pages! How am I supposed to do that in two weeks?!”
7. Most substitute teachers literally didn’t care what you did
A lot just wanted to have a chat to gauge whether they were still cool enough to impress a bunch of teenagers. Most weren’t, but you got to colour in and disobey the seating plan. Oh, the anarchy!
8. You received free food on a regular basis
Your parents either made you a packed lunch or gave you dinner money. Now you have to buy your own food and it makes you die a little inside, as you can’t have nice things unless it’s on offer.
9. If you had a part-time job, everyone saw you as a rich, wise fountain of maturity
“I mean, yah, some call it a paper round, but I see it as a public service in the distribution of knowledge and news to the people. Yah, £3.51 an hour dude, I’m breaking bank, bro.”
10. Your only monetary concerns were travel expenses and Topshop skinnies
Back in the day, under-sixteen travel costs were near on non-existent, and you were lucky enough to remember the era in which Topshop was actually reasonable in price. Viva 2007!
11. Mastering MSN flirting was easier than any dating site ever will be
ASL? Job done.
12. At the time, PE was awful, but in hindsight, free exercise is better than extortionate gym fees
We’ll take Dodgeball over a Personal Trainer any day.
13. The only time you really had to make an effort on your appearance was on non-uniform days
Which, in conservative schools, occurred only on charity days that came round four times a year.
14. If you were able to access booze on a Friday night, one lone drink would get you drunk without the consequences of a daylong hangover
You had the night of your life and a slight headache the next day. That was it. We miss those times.
15. Your laundry was magically washed, dried, folded, and put away for you
The Laundromat of Mum & Dad provided the best service that you never appreciated until now.
16. Your metabolism was on your side
Ok, so you may not have appreciated PE, but you didn’t need it. You could eat a whole litre of ice-cream and wake up the next day just as skinny. Now, you’re contemplating a regular week-long juice detox on a monthly basis. You often cry into your smoothies.
17. You could stalk someone’s MySpace profile without the fear of accidentally liking an old post
It made your day when someone you fancied commented on your profile picture after you requested a PC4PC and they said you were fit, even though everyone called everyone fit, cos that MySpace pose made everyone look fit. #Fit
18. You actually understood slang terms
You were down with the kids because you were one; a totally peng random one.
19. People didn’t constantly stare at their phones, over-share, or do totally annoying things that the people of the internet seem to do today
And it was bliss.
20. And of course, you still had summer holidays
Now you’re interning/working, you seem to have no time at all to just relax, whereas back then you had six weeks off and not a care in the world.
Those were the days.