10 Things You Definitely Won’t Miss About Your Student Kitchen
A student kitchen is quite simply a health hazard.
Here a few examples of things you certainly won’t miss once you have left your uni days behind you.
1. Never having any clean glasses.
Having to drink out of gravy boats and makeshift vessels because you’ve all started a competition on who can collect the most used glasses in their bedrooms.
2. The silent war over whose turn it was to empty the bin.
The bin is overflowing and really starting to smell, but it’s so much easier to carefully balance your crisp packet on the mound of rubbish and let someone else deal with it than having to change it yourself!
3. The struggle to find a clear and clean space to prepare food.
The entire kitchen workspace is encroached with dirty dishes and spilt food. In a desperate bid not to have to clean, it’s no wonder microwave meals have fast become a central part of the student diet.
4. Having to share kitchen utensils.
Some students will go as far to drink water out of a shot glass to avoid washing up. At University the only way you’ll be able to cook is if you wash something up first. Oh well, eating’s cheating!
5. The encounters with rodents.
This has become such normality that students have taken to naming their new found ‘pets’. Calling pest control sounds far too much effort, and we’d all rather live with a rodent than part with some money that could be much better spent on booze, right?!
6. Food thieves.
This is something that you simply have to deal with at uni. Unless of course you’re happy being the stingy sod that starts drawing a black line on where their milk was last up to and sticking ‘keep off!’ post it notes on their food.
7. Perpetually damp and dirty kitchen towels.
In a student kitchen, the towels are either too dirty from mopping up food spills; or too damp from drying up all those dishes that you’ve finally got round to. Drying your hands with a kitchen towel after washing them is a privilege only reserved for the clean kitchen your Mum keeps at home.
8. Fighting over the washing machine.
You’ve finally decided to put a wash in as it’s getting to the point where you might have to turn your underwear inside out, and some lazy housemate has left their wet clothes in there. If a simple request to remove it doesn’t work, it can only be resolved by shoving their washing into a bin bag and leaving it in their bedroom.
9. The bottle collection.
The sheer laziness of students and our binging lifestyle mean that it is inevitable for our kitchens to turn into a disturbing display of borderline alcoholism. It is not art it is clutter. If only the bottle bank wasn’t so go damn far away!
10. Not being able to walk barefoot in the kitchen.
A student kitchen is not just a hazard to your health but also your safety. Walking barefoot in the kitchen is simply not an option – unless of course you feel like exfoliating your feet with shards of broken glass and starting a collection of UFO’s (unidentified food objects) between your toes! *Heave*