The 13 Stages of Becoming a Hipster After You Graduate
After graduating from university, you may feel lost. You don’t belong to a society and you can’t identify yourself as a uni student any more. What’s the next step?!
Well, it seems that the only way is to become a hipster. It’s practically unavoidable.
1. You start visiting underground, quirky bars.
You can’t return to the student hotspots, and you’re too cultured and sophisticated these days for the big clubs. Visiting these speakeasies is like entering an alternative world of like-minded drifters.
2. If you smoke, your finances have probably led you to using roll ups anyway.
So without even knowing it your lack of funds have already pushed you on the road to being a hipster. Cigarettes are way to mainstream for you.
3. And of course, who can afford contact lenses?
“Go big or go home” you said to the woman in Specsavers.
4. You find yourself joining the cycling trend.
Public transport is far too expensive and is not as environmentally friendly. It just won’t do.
5. You don’t know who the hell Radio 1 is playing these days. And you don’t care.
You’re embarrassed to listen to any other station than 6music. Well and truly into stage 5.
6. Expensive restaurants aren’t for you. You appreciate the dingy places.
Having a meal in a clean, comfy and well-lit room with all matching crockery? Not a chance.
7. You’ve taken to photography.
If you’re taking a huge, expensive camera out in London and taking photos of EVERYTHING, you can call yourself a hipster. Instagrammed lunches also count.
8. You either have a beard or are attracted to them.
Why not start your career with a big FU to the conventions of the corporate world? The longer the better. Bonus points for a pointy moustache – not just for Movember.
9. It’s not just facial hair, your head has taken an interesting turn lately too.
Why conform to the convention of having hair at the same length. You will not be broken down by this convention. Shave the bottom half and tie the top half into a ponytail – you’re unstoppable!
10. You’ve ditched socks entirely.
Anything that makes sense is just confirming to tradition. Wearing shoes with no socks is another hipster trait and having sweaty or uncomfortable feet is a small price you’re willing to pay.
11. Which means your ankles are always on show.
Rolled up trousers, no matter what the weather. Society needs proof of the no sock policy.
12. You find yourself sat on the street pavement every now and then.
Eating your lunch, contemplating life. Who needs chairs anyway?
13. And of course, you’ve become obsessed with jars.
Glasses are for the dull masses. If it’s not in a jam jar it’s not worth your time.
Your identity is restored. It’s official – you’re a hipster.