Even though you may now be a graduate, some student ‘dining’ habits can prove seriously hard to kick.
Here’s the top 10 signs that you’re still eating and drinking, student style:
1. Having a kettle in your room, complete with a stash of various teabags/hot drink assortments
Because, back in the day, the kitchen was a long way away, which was just such an effort. Why venture out when you could stay in your nest-like room and hibernate amongst your boxes of Twinings?
Plus, there was always ultimate dread that someone might steal your beverage supplies. Although nowadays the mystery teabag thief is more likely to be a rogue family member, seeing as you’ve been forced to move back home.
2. Flirting with the man/woman in the kebab shop for extra cheesy chips
A standard student antic, you really shouldn’t still be queuing up for grimy mystery meat at three in the morning now that you’re trying to forge an image of yourself as a ‘proper person‘ with a ‘real job‘.
This is particularly true if you are on first name terms with the kebab shop employees, with bonus shame points if you keep leftovers and eat them in the morning, alongside your cereal.
3. You still enjoy drinking games, especially Ring of Fire and Beer Pong
It is (apparently) a truth universally acknowledged that young professionals do not continue to play the drinking games of their misspent youth.
They do civilised things, like go out for after work cocktails or host dinner parties. If you’re still rocking up at friends’ houses with a bottle of Sainsbury’s gin and suggesting ‘gin pong’ then you know you haven’t really graduated. Not mentally, at least.
4. Eating in bed happens regularly
Eating in bed is a joy, especially when accompanied by ‘Snog, Marry, Avoid‘ on iPlayer. Perfect culinary options for this dining style are either Domino’s (two for Tuesdays, naturally) or a dubious takeaway.
This habit is especially hard to let go of, but now you’re back in the fully furnished and adequately heated family home, it’s time to re-embrace the table as the standard eating location.
5. You’re still essentially living off carbohydrates
This was especially prominent in your first year when cheap, unlimited jacket potatoes/bread/cereal/pasta were a given. In fact, they were fundamentally necessary in order to absorb the copious amounts of drink you were consuming back then.
It can be tough to get back to grips with other food groups – particularly fruit, which was formally consumed in juice form, as a mixer.
6. You buy a worrying amount of food from the local shop
Again, an effort-based student activity. You used to trot merrily round to the corner shop/Londis/Spar several times a week to stock up on essentials like freddos, sambucca and crisps, and then you were completely befuddled by your total lack of funds.
Now that you’re a graduate and student finance no longer funds your corner shop sprees, it may be time to come to terms with the idea of a weekly shop at an actual supermarket.
7. You still haven’t ditched the habit of eating straight from the pan
This used to be completely normal and acceptable, because A) everyone did it, B) it saved LOADS of time and C) there was never any clean plates or cutlery anyway.
Unfortunately, this behaviour is no longer allowed as you are (probably) back with the parents and need to behave in a domesticated fashion.
8. Stealing condiments or salt and pepper from public places
When you were so poor that a pepper mill seemed like a serious financial outlay, sneaking a few salt or pepper packets from the odd cafe and hoarding them in your cupboards seemed like winning at student life.
However, now you have a job there’s just no excuse for being so stingy – you won’t even cough up for some proper squeezey ketchup.
9. Concocting weird food and drink combinations because it’s literally all you have
Depending on all you happened to have lying around in your stinky student fridge and how creative you were, this worked out either surprisingly well (chicken satay made of peanut butter) or very badly (vodka with soya milk as a mixer).
Whilst it was once okay to be crazy with your culinary inventions because you had no money or the corner shop was too far away, it’s no longer acceptable. If you carry on like this no-one will come to those civilised young professional dinner parties you’re organising nowadays.
10. Cutting off the mouldy bits
This was a main way of making food last longer. Couldn’t be bothered to freeze something? No problem, just put it in the fridge and should any suspect furry green bits appear, just slice them off merrily and carry on as normal.
It’s fine, you only got kind of ill, sort of, occasionally. If you’re now a young professional and still not keen on waste, just give it to the birds or compost it, because now you (or your parents) can afford to buy a brand new loaf of bread. Happy days.
Is it time to snap out of it? Maybe tomorrow…