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17 Things Every Student Really Wants For Christmas

If money – and reality – were no object, there are a few things that pretty much every single student would have on their Christmas lists this year.

From the mundane to the bizarre, here’s what you’re secretly hoping Santa will have waiting under the tree for you come the 25th.

1. A VIP night out, complete with an open bar.

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2. Somebody to write all of your essays for you.

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3. Along the same lines… how about a super-clever clone with actual Google for a brain to sit in all of your exams for you?

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4. A year’s supply of Domino’s Pizza and Supernoodles.

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5. A maid service to clean your room.

Since it’s finally in a state you’re actually ashamed of.

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6. A personal shopper or two.

One to do all your Christmas shopping for you, and another to help make you look amazing. Should preferably come with enough cash to buy ALL THE THINGS.

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7. Condoms. Because you never know when your flatmates are going to want to have another water balloon fight.  

And, you know, the other thing…

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8. A free pass out of 9am lectures. They’re just unethical during winter months.

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9. Free travel to wherever in the world you want to go.

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10. All the gadgets. All of them.

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11. That pesky overdraft? All paid off.

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12. A supply of chocolate that will last you until Easter.

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13. Cheaper public transport so that you don’t feel like you’re bleeding internally every time you purchase a train ticket.

Don’t tell you parents, though, or they’ll expect weekly visits!

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14. A giant TV with surround sound, a large collection of Blu-Rays and a pre-paid for Netflix account.

Perhaps a games console, too, while you’re at it.

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15. A new age contraption that downloads books into your brain so that you don’t have to read them to find your research manually.

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16. These amazing new pills that promise to eradicate the symptoms of a hangover.

You might manage to see what the first day of the new year looks like outside of your toilet bowl in 2015!

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And while we’re asking for what we really, really want…

17. How about a Christmas break that lasts a little longer.

Because we need more time to revise. Yeah.

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Please, Santa. 

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