17 Types of Guests You’ll Get On Your Ski Season
The life of a chalet host is a hard one, and not like that represented in ‘Chalet Girl’ where your guests occasionally leave. In most cases, you will always have guests. There are multiple guests you can get in your chalet, ranging from annoying to pleasant, rude to polite, and calm to absolutely crazy.
So away from the blissful ski slopes and beautiful alpine sunshine, is the cruel reality of looking after these people…
1. The person who’s allergic to EVERYTHING.
Dairy-free? Yes. Celiac? Yes. Vegetarian? Probably. Please excuse me whilst I get you some water and make you a gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free 4 course meal.
2. The bratty kid.
They don’t want to eat the food you slaved over, or even sit down at the table. They also don’t say please or thank you. Chances are they didn’t even want to go on holiday. How ungrateful.
3. The braggers.
It’s good to see your guests have a good time, but when you’ve been stuck inside all day preparing all their dinners, catering for what feels like hundreds of dietary requirements, you want to shove the freshly-baked Victoria sponge in their face.
4. The pretentious posh couple.
When you meet this couple, you will instantly reflect their accent so you don’t feel so common around them. They are most likely to name-drop, criticise your culinary skills, and dress up in expensive fur for dinner whilst the rest of your guests wear joggers.
5. The young group who destroy the chalet.
Urine, vomit, alcohol, you name it, will be everywhere and take you by surprise in places you didn’t think were possible. And yes, grown adults are apparently incapable of flushing the toilet. You of course, have to clean it up whilst they enjoy a hungover ski in the sunshine.
6. The northerner who looks like he’s in Take That.
If you are a southerner, they will mock your pronunciation of words and because you are hosting them, you can’t play them at their own game. They will also complain about not having gravy in the chalet because that’s what people from the north do. How will they survive the week?
7. The generous tippers.
You will feel like you’ve won the lottery and can actually afford to buy little luxuries like Cadburys chocolate. Generous tippers normally keep their wealth quiet for the week, and then leave you a wonderful pile of cash when they disappear. It will be very hard not to give them a hug.
8. The not-so-generous tippers.
After a whole week of sucking up to them, they leave you with a few stray euros (probably fallen out of their pockets by accident) as a nice goodbye present. Unfortunately, these guests tend to be the nicest, but sometimes nice doesn’t cut it: money does.
9. The geeks who think they are really funny (but aren’t).
The pranksters. As you can see in the image, writing on your eggs and hard-boiling half of them in the night is absolutely hilarious when it comes to making a cake in the morning (not). It just means you have to walk a mile to get some more – cheers. You have to approach these guests with a smile, when inside all you want to do is plan revenge.
10. The person who is always inappropriate.
This is the last thing you need, especially from that one guest who came by themselves. It is just so uncomfortable. When you are a professional chalet host, you just have to fake smile back and keep your distance, or maybe pour their morning coffee over them.
11. The hot guest.
Annoyingly you have to act as their servant for the week, but there could be worse situations.
12. The ‘professional’ skier.
Conversation mainly revolves around ski jargon that you just nod your head to – acting as if you’ve really adapted to the ‘ski life’. They are the mostly likely to show you videos from their gopro, talk about their skis or snowboard, and brag about the other ski holidays they’ve planned this season. Erm… do you have a job?
13. The cute kid.
The one kid you don’t mind cooking another 3 courses for. They are polite, eat their food, and actually compliment you on your culinary skills. Babies are a plus as they just sleep and look cute.
14. The guests who bought all of duty-free.
One of the best kinds of guests, they leave you with all their leftover alcohol as they cannot carry it all back home. 6 litres of gin, 4 litres of vodka, and the odd rum, champagne and whisky later, you begin to think this is better than getting tips. How they thought they could have got through all of it in a week is pretty baffling.
15. The complainer.
Food, cleanliness, your appearance, THE WEATHER! This guest also tends to complain at how often you talk to them. I’m sorry, I didn’t realise I was meant to compliment you every minute of every day on 4 hours sleep.
16. The party people.
Your beloved chalet which you have cleaned over and over is a party house to these guests. Constant loud music and asking you to go out with them, it can be pretty overwhelming. Great if you are feeling in the party mood, but the worst if you are ill/sleep-deprived.
17. The heavy packers.
Common with families or very posh people. You are expected to carry all their thousands of bags up the many flights of stairs that lead to your chalet at ungodly hours in the morning and night. Then they complain about the stairs, when all you really want to do is complain about their complaining. And the week has only begun!