21 Signs You Have Adapted To The Seasonnaire Lifestyle
Halfway through your ski season and you are probably wondering where the time has gone. Life as a seasonnaire is a tough one. One that requires a lot of drinking and a lack of sleep, whilst trying to not gain an injury that will send you home.
However, you have adapted pretty well, especially if you can tick all these off…
1. Tiredness is the norm
At the beginning of season, you began to wonder whether you can cope with this extreme amount of tiredness. I mean, it was on another level. Your amazing body has adapted so well to this new lifestyle that you seem to have the energy of a Duracell rabbit. However, it is all an act to hide your exhaustion.
2. Bar staff know your name (and maybe your order)
They expect you at precisely 3pm on a Wednesday to have that pint of Amstel. If not, they will probably worry about you.
3. You know the best place in resort to get your day-off nachos/pizza
Oh sweet pizza, I love you for curing my day-off hangover. You tend to recommend these places to your guests and sell it pretty well, as it is probably the best place on earth. Or well, in resort that is…
4. Keeping your belongings together is a wish of the distant past
You arrive with a packed suitcase to last you the six months and now only have about 60% of the stuff. It’s probably buried in the corner of your room, but there is no time to look for it. You have just accepted that you can go without that beloved hoody *sobs*.
5. You become a walking and talking resort map
It’s true. You know all the best pistes, the shortcuts to the resort centre and the best place to get a hot chocolate. Just don’t ask us when drunk.
6. Being nice to guests has become overrated
Guests are hard people to please at the beginning of season. However now, you couldn’t care less.
7. You forget what it is like to be sober/not hungover
This permanent headache is beginning to feel surprisingly normal.
8. You begin to lose touch with ‘normal’ life
Your friends at home are telling you the latest gossip, but you have no idea who they are talking about. It is a common misconception that life stops at home whilst you are having the time of your life. Truth is, life is moving very fast back home. What is this new TV show people are talking about? There’s a new iPhone model out? SLOW DOWN.
9. You can nap anywhere
Each minute is a precious sleeping minute, even if that means a brief snooze on a chairlift.
10. Your phone book is full of random people
Normally, this means having someone’s number saved by their correct first name and fake last name- for example, their job/where they work. It’s almost like their surname is dropped on season. This could be ‘Joe Northface’, ‘Becca Rep’ or ‘James Pub’. Put their surname on the end and life gets a whole lot more confusing.
11. You have lost at least one bit of equipment
This is a massive pain but it happens to us all. Cue the panic phone call to ‘Joe Northface’ to replace your ski poles that were taken by a drunken tourist outside the bar up the mountain. The ski home in the dark, ‘pole-less’, was an experience though…
12. Skiing in the dark has become a profession
Bonus seasonnaire points for doing it drunk.
13. Your style has changed
Long gone are the days you wanted those latest Nike trainers, you now want the latest skis that clash with the rest of your new, ‘steazy’ image.
14. You’ve become immune to the smell of fried onions
You are also now a semi-professional onion chopper.
15. Clean clothes are not a necessity
Washing clothes becomes a mammoth ordeal that is so unnecessary. As long as you overload your uniform with lots of perfume/deodorant/body spray/room freshener/anything that smells nice, you are good to go.
16. Your hair has grown considerably
Your locks and beard are longer than you thought possible. This is something that only gets worse, so it’s best to just embrace it.
17. You are getting bored of luxurious chalet food
That herb-crusted lamb steak and orange chocolate fondants sounded so delightful at the start. Now, this doesn’t excite you as much and you would prefer a McDonalds.
18. You are taking fewer pictures
Those beautiful, picturesque mountain landscapes were so mind-blowing at the start. But your camera has probably run out of battery/you are too lazy to take your gloves off and take a picture. This normally results in panic picture-taking at the end of season where you have to cram 6 months of posing into one week.
19. You have gained a nickname
Most likely assigned to you by an embarrassing event or your hometown. Nevertheless, people know your nickname over your actual name, which has taken a while getting used to.
20. You have had more epic ski crashes than a beginner
You might have gained your nickname from this. If you haven’t had a trip to hospital yet or sustained an injury, then you are doing particularly well.
21. And you are already looking into coming back next year
Can I please do this all again?