9 Signs You’re Skyping With Your Parents
Skype is amazing. Except when your parents insist on using it to call you.
It’s a strange experience.
1. Their mouths are moving but you can’t hear a thing
Cue awkward typing on the Skype chat with your head down to tell them how to turn on the volume.
2. You’re talking to a blank video
The other alternative is hearing sound but without the video. Then you awkwardly wait while you hear “oh, is this it?” and “why is this so hard?”
3. You can’t see anything but foreheads or walls.
“No. Move it down. Down. Not up! Right, there.”
4. You’re pulling the I-really-don’t-want-to-be-on-video-right-now smile
You couldn’t reject the call because that would result in poorly-written texts asking why you didn’t pick up. The only solution is to grin and bear it and hope it’ll all be over soon.
5. The “How are you?” chat
Your response is “fine”, there’s is a 30-minute anecdote about how ASDA has a different layout.
6. There’s at least one awkward silence moment
You’ve exhausted every bit of new information you have and cannot think of anything else. Your parents eagerly await something from you, but you’ve got nothing. You stare at each other and smile, but no one says anything. You hope that the screen has frozen and that this isn’t actually happening. But it is.
7. “Yeah.” “Yeah.” “Oh yeah.” “Yeah.”
The only way to signal that you’re ready to end this monstrosity without hurting their feelings. They don’t get the hint.
8. You leave them chatting away while you do other things on your laptop
Sometimes it feels like your parents are reading a novel about their life and you cannot seem to wedge a word in. Just open facebook and wait for it to all be over – just don’t give yourself away.
9. You are saved by your crappy internet
The one time you’re thankful for a house of 50 people trying to watch videos all at once. A few glitches and frozen screens later and it finally cuts out. Freedom! You drop them a quick text to explain, ignore the reply and return to your life.
Parents, we love you, but no.