The 14 Stages of Submitting An Essay You’re Not Happy With
At this time of year many students have essay deadlines, and submitting those essays is probably going somewhat like this for those who aren’t fully happy with what they’ve written.
1. You finally decide enough’s enough and stop writing.
Not so much because it’s finished, but more because you feel there’s nothing more you can do.
2. You proofread it several times over but keep finding more mistakes every time.
3. And also realise that even you don’t understand some of it. A lot of it. Most of it, really.
So how anyone else is going to understand it, you have no clue.
4. You try retyping a few sentences but quickly give up once you realise that it’s only getting worse.
5. And then regret not starting the bibliography sooner because it seems to be taking longer than the essay itself.
6. Before submitting it to Turnitin and hoping you haven’t plagiarised enough to get caught.
7. You print it out and immediately notice several more typos.
8. And start to question whether you should really be at university or not.
9. You arrange to hand in the hard copy with your coursemates, but regret it as soon as they start talking about what they wrote.
All of which sounds much more impressive than anything you wrote.
10. You arrive onto campus and only then realise you forgot to write down the Turnitin reference code. Or print off an extra copy.
11. And struggle to avoid giving a sarcastic answer when the receptionist asks if you want to hand the essay in.
“No, I’ve actually never wanted to do anything less.”
12. You consider writing an apology to the marker for what they’re about to read on the submission form.
13. And resist the temptation to rip it up and tell them to just fail you now. Save everyone some time.
14. Until you ultimately accept your fate and walk away, convinced you’ve just ruined your degree.
Nevermind. It’s probably not as bad as you think. 🙈