21 Stages of Starting University, As Told by Harry Potter
Starting university is big move. If only we were going to Hogwarts…
1. Your parents drop you off, proud and full of expectation.
2. Which you find embarrassing. So you quickly get rid of them before they ruin your reputation on day one.
3. But not before making them buy you half of Tesco’s entire stock.
4. You panic when they finally leave you on your own.
5. So you nervously venture into the kitchen to meet your new flatmates.
6. You meet people from all walks of life.
7. And not all of them make a good first impression.
8. Without a doubt there’ll be one person who thinks they know everything.
9. You start drinking to ease the pain of introducing yourself over and over.
10. You have your first encounter with the Halls security or wardens.
11. So you drunkenly and excitedly head out for your first night out in your uni town.
12. The morning after you don’t remember much, but you wake up with some questionable battle scars.
13. Student finance will probably delay paying you.
14. But when they finally do it’s amazing*.
*until you have to use it all on things like rent.
15. But money isn’t the only thing you’ll be getting. As a fresher you’re inundated with flyers and leaflets.
16. You’ll try cooking for yourself.
With varying degrees of success.
17. And will soon realise why the “fresher 15” is a thing.
18. Meeting your lecturers is more intimidating than inspiring.
19. And it won’t take long for you to perfect the art of being unproductive.
Two hours into the essay and all I’ve got is the title.