22 Unavoidable Moments In Your First Year In an Office Job
It doesn’t take long for you to settle in to an office scenario. Just remember: tea is life, conversations are repetitive and nobody wants to be the first to leave.
1. Walking in on your first day expecting the worst.
2. You’ll hear the words “How was your weekend?” one million times every Monday, every week.
3. LinkedIn will become more important than Facebook.
4. When someone high up on the pecking order gets your name wrong and you just smile and nod because you’re a nobody.
5. Getting burdened with the tea run because everyone else clearly has more work to do than you.
6. You look forward to meetings at first, but that won’t last long.
7. Realising that a lot of people in the working world don’t have a single clue.
Everyone is just bullshitting their way through life.
8. You feel young again as you’ll probably be the only person without a mortgage, long-term partner or child.
9. Post-work pints become a regular thing.
10. And every time you say, “okay, but just for one!”
And then get hammered.
11. You’ll somehow end up at the front of the bar, panic and offer to buy a round. Praying there’s enough money in your account to afford £5 pints.
12. Your email etiquette is significantly below par. You will accidentally send an email to everyone in the office and email a client a picture of a cat approximately once a month.
13. Then you eventually get emails set up on your phone and the whole thing is just too much.
14. Realising that you’re now someone who lives for the weekend.
15. Praying for someone else to be hired so you’re no longer the “new kid”.
16. Noticing how you spend 90% of your time around the people you work with.
And how you know everything there is to know about them, their partners and their past lives.
17. When you had no idea how to manage your workload and never said “no”. Inevitably burning out and needing to take 2 of the 3 weeks you get off in a year.
18. Not knowing how mental you’re allowed to be at work parties. “The boss is here… I should probably slow down? Or just carry on. Fuck it.”
19. You’ll attend a meeting hungover or just extremely tired and try to get away with paying zero attention.
That will also be the one time you’re asked for some input.
20. You’ll have to ask for help for basic things like: how to put paper in the printer, how excel formulas work and how to use the phone.
21. The moment you go to leave work on time and everyone gives you *that* look.
22. But at least you get to eat cake quite regularly.
Thank you Sue from accounts for turning 45.