23 Stages of Denial You Go Through After Finishing University
No one is ever really ready for graduate life. But it surprised even you how unprepared you were.
1. Thinking you can afford to carry on living in your university town.
2. Reassuring yourself that moving back home with your parents won’t be ~that~ bad.
3. You try and fail to convince yourself that you were completely over being a student anyway.
So ready to move on. Not.
4. The period between leaving and graduation day.
“I don’t need to start looking for jobs just yet, this is my break time. I’ve earned this.”
5. You write a Facebook status about how good it is to read “for fun” again.
Then don’t go near a book for weeks.
6. You refuse to look for any job that isn’t related to your degree.
“I’m way too qualified for this.”
7. You try to reassure yourself that you made the correct degree choice.
When really all you’re thinking is…
8. The refusal to sign on stage.
“ERM, I have a degree. I don’t need to do that.”
9. Responding to relatives who question the benefits of your university education.
Yes it was totally worth it. Yes I’m fine with my debt. Yes I will find a job eventually.
10. You big up your own intelligence.
“Guys, I skipped multiple lectures on this topic – step aside.”
11. The “I’m going travelling to find myself” stage.
4 months in Thailand and you’re back on a plane home with nothing but an empty bank account and 150 new people to hide on Facebook.
12. You make false promises to reunite with your university friends.
13. When anyone asks a tough question, you claim to be “weighing up your options”.
As if you have any.
14. When your refusal to embrace adult life reaches new levels and you consider applying for a Master’s.
Because more debt.
15. The “I’m fine” stage.
16. You go to the pub and plan extravagant trips and life plans with friends.
That will never, ever happen.
17. Like moving in together in London. That’s where all the jobs are, right? And it’ll be just like Friends.
Forgetting that you have only £4.60 in savings.
18. You create an all-new meaning for the word “truth” in your job applications.
19. And then have to back yourself up in interviews.
Fooling NO ONE.
20. You think you can pass off as a student and try to use your out-of-date card. Because you really need that 10% off.
21. You even think you can still drink like a fresher.
22. Eventually you get to the point where you accept your age and swear to put your student habits behind you.
23. Then there’s just the perpetual stage of pretending to be a functioning adult.
It’s called life.