29 Stages Every Student Goes Through Before Writing An Essay
After putting it off for weeks, you’re finally making a start on your essay. But you’re not ready just yet…
1. Wake up and open your laptop.
2. You realise how foolish it is to think you could work on an empty stomach, so leave your room to get some breakfast.
3. Eat breakfast in front of TV and stay there for a couple of hours, all the while thinking, “I should get back to it”
4. Return to your bedroom to see how much of a mess it is in – spend the next hour or so cleaning.
5. Feeling accomplished, you treat yourself to a lunch break.
6. Eat lunch in front of the TV and stay there for a couple more hours.
7. Return to your laptop and open Facebook.
8. Like some photos from a few nights ago, wishing you could go out tonight instead of writing your essay.
9. Open Word.
10. Return to Facebook to see whether people on your course are in the same situation as you.
11. Send a Snapchat to everyone of your unhappy essay face.
12. You realise you probably don’t have enough books to do this essay properly, so pack your bag and head to the library.
13. Spend half an hour looking for a free seat.
14. You find that every single copy of the book you were after has already been taken.
15. Return home empty handed.
16. You discuss how annoying the library is with your housemates.
17. By now it’s around 4pm and you haven’t gotten very far, so you decide to knuckle down.
18. You head back upstairs and fire up Google Books.
19. But first you need a cup of tea.
20. You then find yourself on Wikipedia and are now an expert on the Ottoman Empire, the solar system and countries beginning with Y.
21. It’s now gone 6pm so you should probably eat again.
22. Eat dinner in front of the TV and stay there for a several more hours.
23. The dishes now need cleaning. Guess it’s up to you.
24. You fend off a few requests to go to the pub.
25. You realise you haven’t spoken to your parents in a while, so you call to let them know how studious you are.
Staying in to write an essay? Golden child.
26. It’s getting late and the panic is setting in.
27. You write the title.
28. You calculate your overall grade so far, and how much damage this essay could actually do.
29. After seeing how crucial it is, you finally start to write something down.
It probably won’t last long, but at least you started.