32 Stages of Your Uni Nights Out, As Told By Pingu
There’s nothing like a uni noot out.
1. When you’re waiting to get ready but someone else is using the bathroom.
2. And everyone takes forever to arrive to pre-drinks.
“where do you live again?”
3. When you have to drink the shit mix in Ring of Fire.
4. Things get a little out of hand…
5. And you have to put at least one friend to bed before even going out.
6. When you’ve just made yourself another drink and the taxi calls to say it’s outside.
7. So you down your drink…
8. And quickly go to the bathroom. Where you realise just how drunk you are.
9. You arrive at the club and try to act sober.
10. You chat shit to the bouncer thinking it will help. They almost don’t let you in.
11. But eventually let you pass and you walk in the club like…
12. And immediately see someone you hate.
13. When you’re at the bar waiting to be served.
14. You break the seal too early and spend the rest of the night like this.
15. When everyone’s favourite song comes on.
16. And the whole squad is together on the dancefloor.
17. You protect one of your friends from a predator like…
18. And the DJ will refuse to play a song you requested.
19. You’ll end up buying a round somehow and no one will pay you back.
20. When you see your eternally single friend getting with someone.
21. You harass the photographer until they take your picture.
22. When you’re already drunk AF and someone says they’re buying you a shot.
You try to stop them. You fail.
23. You lose everyone for what feels like forever.
24. When the lights come on at the end of the night and you see what everyone actually looks like.
25. People try to get you in a cab but you refuse.
Not before food.
26. So you go to the takeaway and sit there like…
27. There is always one who is way more drunk than everyone else.
And no one wants to look after them.
28. Someone suggests an “after party” which sounds great but actually looks something like this.
29. You drunkenly eat something else.
Something that’s probably not yours.
30. Then you go to bed and feel ~the spin~.
31. Which only ends one way.