32 Times You Felt University Was Making You Dumber
We’re here to learn. But sometimes all university teaches you is how much you don’t know.
1. Every time you didn’t raise your hand in a lecture because you genuinely didn’t have a clue.
2. When that one person in your seminar went on for hours with a well-structured theory.
Meanwhile you barely read the book.
3. When you realised just how much daytime TV you watch.
4. Every time you read over an essay (after submitting it) and found that you’d used the wrong “their/there”.
5. That time it became clear that you were the person nobody wanted in the group project.
6. When you accused the bar staff of short-changing you when really you were just struggling with basic maths.
But we can put that one down to being drunk.
7. Every time you had to call home to ask for help with something.
8. When it took you three hours to write a single paragraph.
9. Every time you locked yourself out of your room or house.
10. That time you confidently handed in an essay or exam and it came back with a 2:2.
11. When you couldn’t work out the 10% discount in a shop.
12. In your first lecture of 2nd year.
You were so not ready for that leap. Why is everything suddenly so hard?
13. When you started to resent certain people on your course because they always got a 1st.
14. Every time you were forced to down something.
How many brain cells will I lose doing this exactly?
15. When you returned from Reading Week to hear that people had actually spent the time doing work.
16. Every time you got lost at university. Particularly in the library.
“I really should know this by now.”
17. When the green line in Microsoft Word made you question your grammar.
18. Whenever anyone asked you, “so, what have you learnt?”
19. Or asked you to explain what it is you actually study.
20. When people relied on you in a pub quiz and you let them all down.
“You should know this!”
21. Every time you learned a new word but had to ask how to spell it.
22. Whenever you forgot your age.
“I’m 18” you said confidently as a decrepit 20-year-old. Another one to blame on alcohol.
23. When you walked out of an exam and heard people talk about things you completely forgot to write about.
24. When you realised just how happy you were with getting 60%.
That’s like a C at GCSE.
25. When you struggled to set up and work out bills.
26. When you mispronounced a word or author’s name in front of the whole class.
Nothing will make you feel smaller.
27. That one time you thought you actually knew the answer. But you really really didn’t.
Bombed it. The shame.
28. When you still couldn’t reference something without Googling “Harvard reference generator”
29. When you struggled to reach the word limit.
30. And had to ask, “are quotes included in the word count?”
31. When you looked back on your year’s worth of tagged Facebook photos.
Too. Much. Drinking.