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50 Things You Did as a Student That Are Unnaceptable Now You’re a Graduate

Student life should never be attempted by a graduate. You’ll have people giving you looks of pity and disgust with every move.

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1. Snakebites.

2. Spending all day watching TV.

3. Waking up on a Thursday with a club stamp on your hand.

4. Ignoring your parents.

5. And then asking them for money.

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6. Going out dressed as a smurf.

7. Having a sink full of dirty dishes.

8. And an overflowing bin.

9. Simply not showing up to your responsibilities. 

10. Decorating your living spaces with stolen road signs.

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11. Ignoring emails.

12. Vomiting in pub toilets.

13. Arguing with bouncers.

14. Doing all your work at 4am.

15. And waking up at 4pm.

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16. Paying for things with change.

17. Eating around the mould.

18. Living off nothing but pasta.

19. Microwaveable burgers.

20. Tearing your night out clothes. Because Carnage.

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21. Drawing on people.

22. Jeremy Kyle.

23. Weekday naps.

24. Being apathetic about everything.

25. Drinking in the library.

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26. Relying on pub quiz winnings to get by.

27. Chanting.

28. Traffic light parties.

29. Minesweeping.

30. Laughing about being overdrawn.

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31. Sending rude, drunken Snapchats.

32. Having a fight over milk.

33. Quad vods.

34. Going hard on a Wednesday night.

35. Setting up a semi-permanent camp in the library.

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36. Infiltrating the reduced section of a supermarket at 9pm.

37. Doing nothing productive for weeks.

38. Uploading 200 photos from a single night out.

39. Falling asleep when you should be working.

40. Shrugging off post-night out injuries.

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41. Stealing toilet paper.

42. Leaving your house a mess when people come to visit.

43. Not changing your bedsheets for months.

44. Coming home drunk and feeling the need to shower. And then falling asleep in the shower.

45. Covering your housemate’s room in tin foil.

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46. Or toilet paper.

47. Wearing pyjamas in public.

48. Going to the supermarket with your parents. 

49. Putting off any thought of what you’re going to do in the future.

50. And generally being an idiot about life.

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