This Is What It’s Like To Move To University For The First Time
Going to university is exciting, stressful, scary – basically the most nervous day you’ll experience for a long time. Luckily you’ll probably have your parents there to help. Or so you think.
1. Despite starting packing on A-level results day, you enter a last-minute frenzy.
You just have too much stuff and you can’t decide what to take and what to leave behind.
2. You end up rushing the goodbyes because you’re running so late.
“Yeah yeah see you at Christmas”
3. Inevitably you forget something important and blame it on your parents.
4. It will take you an unreasonably long time to get where you’re going.
Or at least it will feel that way. Are we there yet!? x1000
5. You see other cars packed full of stuff and the excitement will kick in.
“What if that’s my future best friend??? Pull up alongside them! Dad you’re not doing it.”
6. You then hit traffic due to all the packed cars and that excitement will quickly turn to resentment.
7. You arrive and are ready to make a great impression.
8. Except your parents seem determined to ruin that.
Mum what are you doing? Mum STOP.
9. You instruct them to carry your stuff up for you because a) you want them out the picture and b) you’re really nervous right now and might drop something fragile.
10. You head straight to your bedroom lest anyone see your parents who are inevitably sweaty at this point after all that manual labour.
But not before having a sly glance at all the humans on your floor. Housemate? Parent of housemate? Thief? Who knows.
11. “THROW EVERYTHING ON THE BED WE CAN SORT IT LATER.”
Something you regret *later*
12. You step out into the communal zone and immediately turn into some awkward human you’ve never seen before.
13. You begin talking about something really weird and irrelevant but you are literally unable to stop.
Even your parents are giving you the side eye. ABORT.
14. “Well we really should go do some shopping before we head off” says your mum. Your glorious, life-saving mum.
BRB new friends who undoubtedly hate me already.
15. You’ve had time to recoup and have recovered from the traumatic conversation that has probably already landed you a nickname.
Shit Chat Charlie. Good One.
16. Eager to return and redeem yourself, you hurry around the supermarket.
Your parents will try to slow you down. You won’t listen to them.
17. “No mum I do not want hot cross buns wtf?”
18. Your dad will put lentils in your basket and you will lose your shit.
“But they’re nice” he says.
19. You decide all you need is 10 frozen pizzas and all the alcohol they’re willing to pay for.
Something else you later regret and blame on your parents.
20. You rush back to find more people there and they’re all talking to each other and laughing and your life is over.
“Mum if you’d spent less time crying in the bread aisle this wouldn’t be happening right now so THANKS.”
21. Eager not to be left out you rudely suggest that it’s time for your parents to leave.
22. They cry and you actually die.
23. Void of all emotion you slowly close the door in their faces.
“Byyyeeeee! Thanks for the pizza.”
24. Suddenly you realise what you’ve done. You’re alone.
25. You watch your parents drive away from your new window like.
26. You prepare for a night of making friends and trying to come across as normal.
But not before a quick bathroom check – luckily.