14 Things You’ll Only Know If You Lived on Falmouth’s Penryn Campus
Fal Uni halls are like no other; you find yourself whisked away from the life you once knew to what seems to be a sweatier, hillier Centre Parcs…
1. FitFinder is your worst nightmare.
Gone are the days when you can get changed with the curtains open, assuming there will be only one or two lucky witnesses. The invention of camera phones means within the hour your modesty could be all over Facebook. At least you have that sexy Gylly tan, though.
2. Constantly telling your friends you’re about to go to the gym.
The on-site, reasonably priced gym is the perfect opportunity for you to work on those glutes, and you’re always bragging about how you will be awake at 8am every morning and sweating out that hangover. It’s five minutes away from halls and yet the only time you’ve gone was on your welcome day tour. 🙈
3. You put a lot of effort into learning how to avoid on-site security.
The guards across campus are super nice but you just really want to have that American Pie-style party that you’ve been dreaming about since you were little. You’ve tried it all: having your friends as guards, sticking to the halls as remote as possible, even inviting them in…
4. And you seem to live mostly off hummus and blocks of cheese.
You’ve heard about all your friends’ university-induced Supernoodle addictions, but you’re at Penryn and you have style. You prefer a diet of endless pots of hummus and, if you get really hungry in the night, a nibble of a block of cheese.
5. The enduring Falmouth/Exeter debacle.
Yes, Exeter and Falmouth share a campus. Yes, there are constant debates about whether we can all get along. But to be honest, after a few drinks and a long day’s walking up a lot of hills, no one really cares. We’re busy. We have lives. We can be friends.
6. Wondering how you would survive without post-Stannary tea and toast.
Stan stan parties are a must, especially if you’re feeling peckish. You have a tenner left in your bank account and you figure you can get entry and two drinks with FREE tea and toast at the end, courtesy of the CU. Praise be 🙌
7. And dreading having to do laundry by yourself.
There are washing machines dotted all over the shop, but despite being five minutes away, you suffer severe anxiety at the thought of making the trip alone. Having a buddy makes someone pointing out you’ve left some pants in the machine that little bit less embarrassing.
8. Turning into an eco-warrior.
If you weren’t one already, of course. Penryn is a very green campus. The sheer volume of recycling bins all around campus seemed a bit extreme to you at first, but now you wouldn’t have it any other way. We must protect it. 💚
9. Playing with campus wildlife like you’re in a Disney film.
There are cats, ducks and of course the famous campus crow. It’s a great thing, expect for the fact that everyone likes to think they’re the next David Attenborough.
10. Becoming VERY lazy.
Your lecture starts at 9:30 and your alarm is set for 9:20, which gives you just enough time to brush your teeth and scuttle off to your morning learning sesh. Maybe you even have time to pick up a Koofi along the way? No, YOU NEVER HAVE TIME. Just carry on past.
11. In fact, even leaving the campus grounds now feels like a struggle…
Penryn is a serene wonderland full of creatures and happy young people singing and painting things (well, most of the time, anyway). Why would you ever want to leave? Sometimes if you’re feeling particularly energetic you go to the ASDA that’s situated a 20 minute walk away. But you always get a taxi back, or if you’re lucky, the free bus.
12. Never being able to figure out who it is that doesn’t appreciate the musical talent on campus.
Literally everyone seems to play some sort of instrument at Penryn, so who the hell is it that doesn’t appreciate listening to the banjo and tambourine after another incredible night at Club I???
13. Being extremely grateful that the lodge is open 24/7.
When you are stumbling home after a big night out on the town they are always there to let you in at 4 am, despite you being a bit confused and grouchy. Without them you’d be, like, on the streets.
14. And experiencing intense fear at the prospect of one day having to leave.
Soon it will be time for you to leave the comfort of en-suite showers, Stannary food and five minute walks to lectures to go live in the outside lands of Falmouth town. You’re exhausted just thinking about those hills.