22 Things You Could Only Ever Get Away With at University
What happens at uni stays at uni.
1. Saying “I have no money for books, I can’t even afford dinner tonight” and then buying a load of beers for predrinks.
2. Only really going out on weeknights.
Weekend nights out? No thanks.
3. Calling a week when you only go clubbing twice “a pretty quiet one”.
4. Becoming almost completely nocturnal.
5. And classing any lecture before 1pm as “too early”.
6. Creating and regularly updating a chunder chart.
7. And sabotaging your housemate’s room with cling film, tin foil or toilet paper because “banter”.
8. Communicating exclusively with ~that one housemate~ via passive aggressive post its.
9. Wanting to live by yourself and make your own decisions but being terrified when your mum isn’t there to call and make your doctor’s appointment for you.
10. And saving all your dirty clothes to take home for your parents to wash in reading week.
You can just reuse items from your massive washing pile when you have nothing to wear in the meantime…
11. Not knowing how your boiler works or how to fix anything yourself.
12. Accepting takeaway pizza as your main food group.
13. And convincing yourself that a vodka orange is basically fruit.
14. Playing bin jenga until you have a serious bin juice situation.
15. Napping and crying in a library.
16. But somehow managing to keep going despite pulling multiple all-nighters a term.
17. Not going to a lecture because you’re still catching up on the reading from the last lecture that you missed.
18. Or missing a seminar because you just couldn’t face walking up a slight hill to campus.
19. Spending days doing nothing more than pressing “Continue watching” on Netflix.
20. But rewarding yourself for being mega productive when you do a full hour of work in the library.
21. Avoiding questions about your future career and goals.
22. And generally just ignoring everything you have to do until you have absolutely no choice but to leave your bed.
You can do a lot at uni, and even more if you join Red Bull as a student.
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