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100 Thoughts You Have On Your Daily Commute To Work

The daily commute; a time to catch up on a book, read the latest news, listen to some music in peace. Or the most soul destroying part of your day and life in general.

Here’s 100 thoughts that run through the mind of an everyday commuter. 

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1. OK, my train comes in 2 minutes and I’m five minutes away.

2. Why am I still walking? Run.

3. Who am I kidding? I can barely run a bath.

4. Crap, there goes my train.

5. Eugh the next one is delayed.

6. Why is it so busy?

7. Why is it raining?

8. Why is this my life?

9. Thank god, the next train is here.

10. Why’s this guy trying to push in front of me, he knows I was here first.

11. People are the worst.

12. Eugh this train is packed.

13. OK, stand there, that person will probably get out of their seat at the next stop.

14. They didn’t.

15. How did he get a seat, I was on before he was?

16. My day is ruined.

17. My life is ruined.

18. Imagine if I was rich, I’d quit right now.

19. Does being hungover entitle you to a priority seat?

20. Why is this person leaning on me?

21. How do they have bad breath, it’s 8.10am?

22. Oh great, we’re sitting on the tracks, not moving.

23. Err that person just touched my hand.

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24. Seriously, I’m not a people person.

25. Why are we still not moving?

26. Is it bad that I’m already thinking about after work drinks?

27. That’s OK person reading next to me, please dig your arm into me more.

28. OMG he just sneezed near me, please don’t be Ebola, please don’t be Ebola.

29. It’s 2014, who still spikes up their hair with wet look gel?

30. What a tune, bravo shuffle.

31. Ooo, they’re fit.

32. OK they caught me looking, play it cool.

33. Now look out the window.

34. Look at all these people in their seats, sleeping away.

35. Bastards.

36. Lol, that person’s chin has dropped in their sleep and they look weird.

37. Who smells bad?

38. Who doesn’t shower in the morning?

39. I hope that person reading The Metro doesn’t mind me reading it over his shoulder.

40. Am I breathing heavily on him?

41. Wait, he turned the page too fast.

42. Crap, that person went to my school, look down.

43. Yes! That person’s putting their coat on, I can get their seat.

44. That woman is eyeing up the seat too. Don’t. You. Dare.

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45. YES, I got a seat.

46. Let’s Instagram a picture of my legs and caption it with something witty about how I got a seat.

47. GPRS???????

48. OK it won’t upload.

49. Actually, that picture is kind of sad, never mind.

50. Look at all these people on their phones.

51. Technology has kind of ruined the world, people should interact with each other.

52. Erm, why is this person trying to talk to me?

53. Can they not see I have headphones in and I’m playing scrabble on my phone?

54. Seriously wtf is that man’s pin striped suit? He looks like an extra from Bugsy Malone.

55. OK he just looked at me as I thought that.

56. I bet he can read my mind.

57. Don’t be stupid, nobody can do that.

58. Say something stupid and see if he looks at you again.

59. Hajdkkjnsiofjvkbnkjoikwpwkp

60. He just looked at me really weird, he can definitely read my mind.

61. OK clear your mind and think of nothing.

62. PIN STRIPED SUIT, PIN STRIPED SUIT.

63. Eugh the train is standing still again.

64. Literally, I don’t know what I’m paying for.

65. I’m gonna be late for work again.

66. WHAT is going on?

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67. I’ve got to start getting up earlier and getting the early train.

68. Who am I kidding, that won’t happen.

69. Why do people wear white running shoes with office clothes? It’s commuting, not cross country.

70. Why is the heating on?

71. There’s about a million people on this train, our body heat and jackets will be fine.

72. I’m so god damn hot, actually sweating.

73. Crap, now I feel like I need another shower and I’m not even at work yet.

74. Look at all this condensation on the windows.

75. That’s essentially everyone’s breath, rank.

76. N’Sync just came on shuffle, turn down your iPod so people can’t hear what you’re listening to.

77. OK that person is staring at me, they can hear.

78. Put on something cool.

79. Are Kasabian still cool?

80. Were Kasabian ever cool?

81. Thank god, we’re at the station.

82. Why are you trying to get past me, the train terminates here, we’re all getting off?

83. Getting out of the station is going to take forever, there’s like 2 million people here.

84. The way we’re all walking slowly together makes me feel like a zombie from The Walking Dead.

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85. I am such a loser.

86. OK that ticket barrier looks emptiest, go there.

87. WINNING

88. Oh of course. This stupid man’s ticket doesn’t work.

89. What’s taking so long?

90. Great, I’m late for work. Can I get away with blaming Southern Rail again?

91. Why are you walking so slowly?

92. MOVE!

93. Oh great, a tourist who thought rush hour would be a perfect time to enhance their photography skills.

94. Move, right now.

95. I’m gonna kill all of you.

96. When did my thoughts become so violent?

97. But seriously, If I could get away with it, this person dawdling in front of me would be dead right now.

98. Shit, I’m so late for work.

99. OK, I’m here, sweating abnormal amounts but here.

100. Eugh, work.

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