The Story of Your Life at University, As Told By 90s Cartoons
As children of the 90s, we actually got a childhood – before technology came along and ruined everything. And that childhood is synonymous with the characters we watched in cartoons: Hey Arnold, The Powerpuff Girls, The Rugrats and so on.
What none of us realised at the time, was that underneath all the entertainment, they were preparing us for the university experience. That’s right, thanks to 90s cartoons, we all had a pretty good idea how university was going to play out, from start to finish.
The whole thing started in Freshers’ week…
1. When you moved to university and struggled to communicate with anyone.
The North/South divide renders students entirely lost in translation.
2. And had no idea how to keep yourself alive.
3. But you were ready to give it a go.
4. But then you fell into a downward spiral.
5. And this became your only passion.
6. You quickly forgot what nutrition meant.
7. And would do literally anything for free food.
8. Then one day you woke up like this.
9. And your Mum made sure you knew about it.
10. So she tried to change your ways over the holidays.
11. Which never went down well.
12. Because there was no going back now.
You had committed to the student body.
13. The glamorous you was long gone.
14. Particularly in lectures. Making the effort to look semi-decent was just too much.
15. So you tried impressing people with knowledge instead.
16. But that didn’t work either.
17. So you stuck to making friends in club toilets when drunk.
18. You loved your housemates, even if they were always trying to steal your food.
19. And were often a little too relaxed when it came to hygiene.
20. You felt proud every time you submitted a piece of work.
21. Because university was just one long absence notification.
“Sign my name for me? Cheers m8”
22. Especially in Winter.
23. When the walk home from uni required some serious self-encouragement.
24. And you never said this. Ever.
25. Except when there were shots involved.
26. But it still took you hours to get ready.
27. When you were drunk, and the man in the Chippy just wasn’t feeding you fast enough.
28. Because you really needed to sober up.
29. No wonder the locals hated you just for being a student.
30. Then 3rd year made you re-evaluate your life choices.
31. Because you had to start behaving responsibly.
32. You were torn between two career paths.
33. And you graduated so late, you forgot what you’d spent 3 years studying.
34. So you gave up trying and decided to let fate do its thing.
35. Forever hoping that you’ll soon get out of this lull you’re in.