10 People You Will Definitely Meet in Shared Housing
So you’ve left the safety of halls and are now embarking on finding your own place to live. Chances are you’ll end up in a house share with a few strangers. Hope you’re ready.
1. Casper the Anti-Social Ghost
You’re sure somebody lives in the room upstairs, yet they’ve never been seen or heard from. The only traces are their occasional bowl in the sink or the noise of cooking at 3am.
2. The ‘Slummer’
They don’t really need to be slumming it in shared housing, but they have decided to ‘save money’ by seeing how the commoners live for a while. They’ve probably been travelling already and been to every festival going. While you’re scraping coppers out of the sofa for a pint of milk, they’re splashing the cash on Waitrose’s finest. However, they usually offer to buy the takeaway or to even sort out the bills.
3. The Big Sharer
A strong believer in the ‘share’ aspect of a house share. They will definitely steal your cutlery, mugs, cups, plates etc. This stuff will disappear for a number of weeks and then turn up in the sink, usually accompanied with mould or some highly questionable staining.
4. The Note Maker
They go nicely with The Big Sharer, as it’s usually the sharer who all the notes are aimed at. It will start out nice enough, polite notices not to touch stuff that isn’t yours, or to wash up dirty plates and so on. Then it will devolve quickly into a passive aggressive post-it war. Best to just leave them to it.
5. The 24 Hour Party People
We all like a drink, we all like a party but most people know there’s a time and a place. This time and place is usually not at 4am on a Wednesday, when you have a 9am lecture to look forward to.
6. The Porn Star
Okay, so shared housing usually means crunchy mattresses, squeaky bed frames and paper thin walls. You might even be able to hear people chatting on the phone or cackling at Netflix. There will be one person however who lets you hear a little too much of their night time activities.
7. The Flawless Everydayer
Most of the time you’ll live in your pyjamas along with everyone else, but there’s always one person who has to show everyone else up. Whether it is the morning, the afternoon, when you’re just coming back from a night out or when everyone is nursing a raging hangover the next day, they will still be flawless.
8. The Bum
The complete opposite of the Flawless Everydayer. They will have about 3 items of clothing that are never washed and neither are they.
9. The DJ
Or ‘The Person Who Thinks They Can DJ But is Actually Really Bad’. They will get you to listen to their mixes, they will be practising late at night and they won’t have any headphones because it “messes with the atmosphere”.
10. Your Best Friend
There is a chance you will get lucky and land a place with a bud. Thank every God you know when this happens because they will help keep you sane and never judge you. Even when you order pizza for the third time in a week. When you’re laying on the floor in a state of panic and exhaustion, they’ll come and lay on the floor with you.
Can we just live in halls forever?