5 Things People Who Didn’t Go To University Will Say To You Once You Graduate
After graduating you’ll encounter a lot of people who think they understand your situation.
1. “What are you going to do now?”
Unless you’re planning to go travelling (and if so, this question will be waiting for you when you return), the general response usually involves ashamedly looking at one’s own feet and mumbling, “I’m actually going back to the job I had before university and getting paid minimum wage so I can slowly start to repay the £15,000 of debt I just racked up to get here. Thank you for asking.”
2. “Where are you living?”
I feel like any person who hears the previous response and follows it with this question is really just rubbing salt in the wound and probably takes pleasure in hearing you say, “I will be moving back in with my mother and removing the ‘Parental Advisory’ poster from my bedroom door, replacing it with a subtle floral pattern in an attempt to make me feel mature and as though I am setting up my own home.” Sadists.
3. “I bet you’re enjoying not eating like a student any more!”
This is the trusty sentiment that people jump to when they feel sorry for you after explaining to them that you’re going back to your old job and living with your parents. They’re clutching at straws here and hoping to highlight some kind of silver lining to your depressing situation. However, due to aforementioned living arrangements and my mother’s cooking skills (or lack thereof), this particular silver lining is not as comforting as it could be. When you’re living with someone who puts Ryvitas in a food bag so they don’t ‘dry out’, there’s not much hope of a hot,
4. “You’ll be getting a fancy job soon!”
People who say this have obviously never met anyone who’s been to university. They seem optimistic though and you don’t want to burst their bubble, so you just respond with, “Oh, yeah, I’ve applied to a few places, so fingers crossed!” – They don’t have to know that those places are Starbucks and the local pub. In fact, they don’t need to know anything. Cut them out of your life.
5. “Are you going to keep in touch with your uni friends?”
During those last few weeks of university before heading back home, you think that nothing could tear you away from these people who have become your family over the past few years. You will ring them every day, you’ll see them at LEAST once a fortnight, even if they live a few hours away. Nothing could keep you away from them! Until you’ve been back home for a month, and then suddenly you’re back with your pre-uni group of friends, going to the same pubs and working the same jobs as you were three years ago, only now you have a beer belly and a significantly less optimistic outlook on life.