The 17 Stages of Catching The Warwick Uni Express To Kasbah
There’s no journey quite like that you take on the express to Kasbah.
1. After getting carried away at predrinks, you realise you’re late to catch the bus.
“Will I be able to run faster if I take my heels off?”
2. But when you eventually get to the stop, the bus hasn’t even arrived yet.
3. In the end, the crowd of drunk students gets so huge that you won’t all fit into one bus.
Meaning you’ll get split up into separate buses at some point.
4. The bus driver hands you your queue jumps and return tickets.
You’ll probably lose these within 10 minutes.
5. And a group of lads will start up some football chant and the first few bars of ‘You Can Call Me Al’.
As part of their official Warwick Uni Express soundtrack.
6. Someone inevitably throws up on the way.
There’s always one…
7. You whip out your phone to take some selfies and put them up on Snapchat.
Which always seems like a good idea until you see exactly what you posted the next day.
8. And make the quickest toilet stop ever as the bus pulls into Warwick Uni.
“I knew I should have peed before we left…”
9. You’ll probably come up with an elaborate group face paint idea for when you get there.
“Could you do me a shark holding a lightsaber?”
10. But everyone bails and you all just get flowers painted on your face.
11. The bus pulls up to the club, and everyone worries they’ve lost their queue jump.
“I swear I put it in my bra!”
12. As early morning approaches, you realise you’ve lost half your squad.
13. So you go to your assigned meeting spot in Spice Lounge to reunite.
And to eat!
14. You have to wolf down your boiling-hot chicken nuggets before being allowed back on the bus.
“We could’ve hidden them under your jacket if you’d brought one!”
15. You climb aboard and shuffle down the bus, passing a group of girls crying.
“Don’t text him, babe, you don’t need him!”
16. And probably some people throwing up.
There is definitely such a thing as too many Jägerbombs.
17. But despite the absolute carnage, you know you’ll be back to grace the sticky floors of the Uni Express soon.
Until next time, old friend.