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14 Thoughts Every New Driver Has When On The Road

FREEDOM. Up yours, disgusting slow and unreliable bus system.

The closest we have come to insanity has been stood in the pouring rain, desperate to get to work when… oh of course, the bus is running late. Really, what were we expecting? Time management, ease of travel and life generally becomes much easier with a car.

1. Ok, this is nothing like learning to drive…

But you’ve got to take the bad with the good. On the plus side, no more ridiculous six-point checks and irritating reversing manoeuvres (honestly, who parallel parks that way?) Yet, getting in a new car you haven’t actually been taught to drive in brings its own challenges. And simply driving by yourself can incur a myriad of incomparable panic-stricken moments.

2. Why are we not taught to deal with dramatic car problem solving? Three cars coming towards me and nowhere for me to reverse back into. Shit.

3. I’m going to be a much better pedestrian from now on.

Nothing can prepare you for the shock of seeing a pedestrian emerge from in between two parked cars onto the road, without a care in the world, as if there isn’t a heavy box of metal hurtling towards them at 30mph. Take one more step… I dare you!

4. Parking. Why!?

 5. I’ve driven so much, I’ve genuinely forgotten the dynamics of walking.

This is particularly true if you’ve had a stressful or a long drive. I move one leg forwards and what? I have to try and avoid all these people on the street as well? This was never difficult before.

6. Why am I suddenly terrified of EVERY car coming towards me? I wasn’t this petrified when I was learning.

7. Driving at night is like paintballing and simply exposing yourself for all to shoot.

Can’t see a thing, particularly with two blinding lights careering towards me at god knows what speed. Might as well cross my fingers and hope for the best.

8. I literally have no problems being the designated driver from now on until the day I die.

We know we’re being used, but it’s just great to feel so popular!

9. It’s great having somewhere to dump all my clothes and carry spare shoe changes.

A car is multifunctional, we soon learn. It becomes more than just a mode of transport. It becomes a wardrobe, a place to relax, a quiet place to take a phone call. What did we ever do before we had a car?

10. Jeez, why is petrol so expensive!?

 11. I know I’ve made mistakes but seriously what is wrong with this person!?

Road rage settles in preeeetty quickly. It’s ok to hate nearly every other driver on the road because they only see your face for a split second, if that.

12. I’ve passed my test so I don’t need you sat next to me telling me how to do things…

Yes, I am well aware I need to look both ways and then again before exiting a junction. Thanks for your input…

13. Short drives are fun, long drives however…

Backache, leg ache, headache, starving hungry, bored out my skull, utter nuisance. Maybe trains weren’t such a bad thing, at least you could read a book or a magazine.

14. Actually, driving in general is really bloody stressful

It’s very much like going into Tesco on a busy day and trying to navigate your way through the cluttered aisles with numerous other wayward trolleys coming towards you in an incredibly narrow space. Hard, particularly if you’re unsure of the area.



But despite all this, you love your independence and wouldn’t give it up for anything.

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