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Every Kind of Relationship Status You’re Going To Have at University

Do you take thee to be your lawfully loyal-Instagram-liker-Snapchat-bestfriend-Facebook-official-WhatsApping-on-the-reg-unofficial lover? It’s hard to explain to parents that they’re not you’re actual boyfriend/girlfriend, but instead your current situation probably exists as one of the following:

1. Window shopping.

You’re looking, you’re liking, but you’re doing f*ck all about it.

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2. Or just simply Snapchatting.

You’re the target of a hoe or you are the hoe.

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3. Liking ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING on social media.

The waiting room from which may or may not transfer into the talking stage.

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4. Drunk companions.

You seem to kiss each other every time you’re drunk but the same courage never applies sober.

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5. Shortlisting.

You’re currently talking to a few people trying to work out if you want to pursue any of them, it’s survival of the less idiotic candidate.

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6. Cushioning.

You have people to fall back on when your latest thing ends. You may have a range of plumped cushions ready to distract you from your inevitable heartbreak or you have one trusty cushion.

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7. Bread crumbing.

You’re rude. You essentially text someone enough to keep them interested but not enough to actually give them substantial hope of taking it further.

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8. Considering de-friendzoning.

Not wanting to ruin a friendship vs. looking like a knob.

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9. Talking to your ex when you’re drunk.

This can actually be a defining relationship status because you’re holding yourself back from finding someone that actually gives a crap.

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10. Just talking. But not to your ex.

The stage where you’re texting and you’re both interested to some extent but you’re not completely sure about them based off the fact you have no idea what they’re thinking. Interesting, but exhausting.

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11. “It’s just casual.”

Never has and never will work. Someone will get feelings and they’ll end up dreaming of pushing the other person out of a window.

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12. Actual dating.

Meeting up with someone to see if there’s any chemistry at all but mostly enjoying the excuse to get accidentally drunk.

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13. The ‘may as well be a relationship but that word is terrifying’ status. AKA ‘seeing someone’.

You’re committed, texting all the time, seeing each other at least three times a week, completely into each other but there is no way you’ll be putting a label on it.

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14. Taking it slowly.

Arguably the sensible approach, talking, dating and just going with it. It may amount to something great or may leave you evaluating the shortlist again.

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15. The long-distance relationship.

The kind you need a contract for, one constantly wants to go on a break but the other is completely devoted. The struggs.

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16. And finally, none other than the single life.

Focusing on yourself – because nobody’s greater than you. 😘

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