If There Was a University of Bristol Edition of Monopoly, Here’s What It Would Look Like
Let’s imagine for a second that there was a University of Bristol edition of Monopoly. What would that look like?
Starting from the cheap but cheery brown cards all the way down to the Mayfair of Bristol, we fill in every slot on the board with famous landmarks and buildings that have or will frame your time at the University of Bristol.
Get Out of UWE Free card, anyone?
Brown (Stoke Bishop)
Old Kent Road / University Hall
Well, we had to start somewhere. If you’re looking for an adventure in a bedroom the size of a peanut for a decent price, and hanging out with all the cool kids, UH is where it’s at.
Whitechapel Road / Wills Hall
Wills Hall may be expensive to live in and certainly looks lavish inside and out, but everyone knows that it’s just a cheap rip off of Oxford, hence its brown status.
Light Blue (University Walk)
The Angel Islington / Mathematics Building
Here you’ll find lots of excited Maths nerds of all shapes and sizes who just can’t wait to sell their souls, happiness and sense of hope to the first grad scheme that pops up! (Just kidding.) Celebrations!
Euston Road / Biomedical Sciences Building
Home to Biochemistry, Cellular and Molecular Medicine, the Medical Library and so much more. It’s basically Disneyland.
Pentonville Road / Queen’s Building
The final stop on the science portion of our tour is the home of engineering. Want to build a plane? Design a bridge? Shape the sequel to The Shard? This is where you need to do it. Light blue status for you, Queen’s.
Pink (The Triangle)
Pall Mall / Lola Los
Our first entry into the unholy trinity that forms Bristol’s take on the Bermuda Triangle is Lola Los. Expect expertly crafted Hawaiian décor and the most humble bouncers you will ever meet. I hope you can tell I’m being sarcastic.
Whitehall / Analog
Last time I visited it was called The Bunker, and it was true to its name, really capturing the essence of a nuclear fallout. It’s like vodka. You can take it raw and in large doses as a fresher, but after that, it’s just plain nasty.
Northumberland Avenue / Lizard Lounge
The ultimate guilty pleasure of Bristol Uni students is the living room of the scaled ones, the reptilian quarters, The Lizard Lounge. Toffee vodka and cheesy music from the noughties make this the place to meet a short-term boyfriend or girlfriend, probably not a life partner.
Orange (Tyndall Avenue)
Bow Street / The Hawthorns
The Hawthorns looked so cool when you were doing research on accommodation. It offers a great location, spacious rooms and a café downstairs. Even if you don’t live here, it’s a great place to study while enjoying a cup of coffee or three.
Marlborough Street / Uni Gym
It’s never open when you need it to be and you’re questioning whether the membership costs are worth it, but all the cheap gyms are miles away in the city centre. Down that protein shake, fresher!
Vine Street / ASS Library
During exam time, this is the only library that stays open 24 hours, and by god you need it. The home of arty literature and the worst café food ever, it’s a nice place to meet up with a study group or cram before that exam that you’re going to fail anyway.
Red (City Centre Clubs)
The Strand / SWX
In the Bible, SWX is a place you go to when you’re too evil for Satan to handle in hell. If you love mosh pits with Bristolian local lads and music that will kill off your hearing for a week, this should be where you spend your Friday and Saturday night. Good luck with that.
Fleet Street / Thekla
A party on a boat – how Bristol could you get? This is a must for any Bristol student who loves a party. No lifeboats unfortunately, so if an iceberg appears, down that jagerbomb.
Trafalgar Square / Motion
It’s the 19th best nightclub in the world, and it’s also a trek to get there, but that is what Uber is for. Expect a huge warehouse full of heavily medicated dancers and strobe lights. It’s worth a visit.
Yellow (Clifton Halls of Residence)
Leicester Square / Manor Hall
The Clifton halls offer a great location and an amazing community spirit, just not at Manor Hall.
Coventry Street / Clifton Hill House
According to Bristol Uni legend, CHH is home to the Christians of the university community. Whilst I would argue that the students here are arguably tamer, they’re definitely not Christian.
Piccadilly / Goldney Hall
This is by far the most stunning hall of residence you will find at Bristol Uni. With beautifully kept grounds and buildings you could get married in or in front of. They even filmed Sherlock here.
Regent Street / Victoria Rooms
Home of music at the University of Bristol, this building sits near the triangle in front of fountains that are surrounded by students come summertime. It first opened in 1842, and contains a 700-seat auditorium.
Oxford Street / Richmond Building
The student’s union! This place has everything, from a cheap bar, a swimming pool, rehearsal rooms, to the huge Winston Theatre and the more intimate (Simon) Pegg Theatre. Go a few floors up and you’ll find quiet study areas and computer rooms. Also, the breakfasts in the bar are top notch.
Bond Street / Clifton Suspension Bridge
How could I not include the Bristol landmark? It may not be directly related to the university, but tons of students hang around on the greenery overlooking the magnificent view below the bridge. There’s an observatory and plenty of space for a picnic with your boyfriend before you move to London and break up with him over Skype.
Dark Blue (Park Street)
Park Lane / Park Street
Park Lane – Park Street, get it? If you’re unlucky enough to see Park Street for the first time on a Saturday night, it will look like a set from The Walking Dead, full of drunk locals and empty takeaway boxes. However, Park Street is central to Bristol Uni, always jam packed with students going to and from lectures, and you’re bound to bump into someone you know. It truly shines as a top contender at Christmas, when the entire street is lit up with lights. Oh, and in summer, they put a massive waterslide down it. Because Bristol.
Mayfair / Wills Memorial Building
You should have seen this one coming. Wills Memorial is where Bristol students (hopefully) graduate, and is also home to the law department. It towers above its surroundings in the skyline, providing a look into Bristol’s history and all of its students’ futures.
Bristol Temple Meads – Bristol Parkway – Bristol Harbour Railway – Coach Station
Free Parking / Cabot Circus
Go To Jail / Go To UWE