14 Film and TV Characters You Don’t Want as Your Uni Lecturers
There are always one or two lecturers that you just don’t really learn anything from. Whether they’re boring or change slides too quickly, there’s always one.
However, you could definitely have worse…
These are just a few film and television characters that would be awful replacements, despite how much we may love them…
(We’ve left out the obvious ones who already make bad teachers. Sorry, Umbridge).
1. Sherlock Holmes – Sherlock.
This deductive, intrusive, and horribly spot-on detective marks our first entry. Why are you late? – He already knows. He also knows that you feel you’ve chosen the wrong course and want to get it over with so you can apply for a job doing anything but something course relevant. He got all that from the cut of your jeans, and has now told everyone in the room.
2. C3PO – Star Wars.
This bumbling and constantly complaining robot from the Star Wars universe just wouldn’t be able to hold himself together in a lecture theatre to actually teach anything. Seriously, R2D2 would be much better.
3. Jessica Rabbit – Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
She’s, err, a bit distracting.
4. Brick – Anchorman.
Lovable Brick just couldn’t teach. He’d be hilarious as a lecturer, but eventually you’d start wanting to actually learn something.
5. Bella Swan – Twilight.
This is going to divide some people, but face it – there are only a certain number of lectures of her talking about Edward that anyone could take. That number is zero.
6. Dr Gregory House – House.
Despite already having Sherlock Holmes on the list, on whom this character is partly based, House’s seeming negligence to his duties is a bonus that would leave students waiting in the lecture theatre for 2 hours, only to have him show up, throw a handful of useful paper documents at you and tell you to read them by tomorrow.
Well, at least he’s got some nice motivation for you:
7. Dory – Finding Nemo.
As much as we all love Dory, her memory loss would make for a completely useless, yet hilarious, lecture. Well, unless you’re learning to speak whale.
8. Joffrey Baratheon – Game of Thrones.
This King of Westeros would likely swagger into your lecture theatre and address you all as peasants, before inflicting some horrible activity upon you just for his personal enjoyment. And no, by horrible activity I don’t just mean your lecture.
9. Kenny McKormick – South Park.
Any South Park character’s use of language and explicit content would make lectures, at best, a little off-putting after a while, but Kenny’s continuous deaths followed by unexplained reappearances at the next lecture make him the clear choice. For us, at least.
10. Lois Wilkerson – Malcolm in The Middle.
She’s pushy, controlling, loud and obnoxious, everything you don’t want in the establishment you go to to show off your independence…
11. Jay Cartwright – The Inbetweeners.
Having Jay at the front of the room describing in graphic detail his latest conquest probably isn’t what your course promised in the prospectus. If it is, you can strike him from this list.
12. Groot – Guardians of the Galaxy.
Groot’s extremely limited vocabulary means there’s little chance of you learning anything in his lecture. Well unless you’re Rocket, I suppose.
13. Piglet – Winnie the Pooh.
Most of the characters in the Hundred Acre Wood would be pretty bad at teaching for their own reasons, but Piglet’s insane fear of… well, everything, would land him in an awful bother when confronted by a class of ‘eager’ university students.
14. Johnny – The Room.
Often hailed as the worst film of all time, Tommy Wiseau’s protagonist would provide endless humour in the lecture theatre, although your chances of learning are probably limited.
You may hate lectures, but find comfort in the fact that it could definitely be worse…
Can you think of any others? Let us know in the comments…