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16 Students Everyone Who’s Been To a UK University Will Recognise

Nothing is for certain at university except that you will meet a variety of people so diverse you wont be sure they are all the same species.

1. The hibernator

Regardless of deadlines, lectures or earthquakes there is always one who doesn’t surface until at least midday. It’s both parts frustrating and admirable.



2. The one who redefines student drinking culture

Every student worth their salt likes a drink, but there’s always that one whose love for alcohol makes people worry for their safety. On the plus side, they’re at the top of every house party invite list.



3. The adventurist

The one whose “I’m popping to the shops” can turn into a 3 day camping trip that you didn’t even know was happening until they come back looking like a homeless tree.



4. The one who just doesn’t do anything

Students have the reputation for not doing a lot as it is, but even then, we all know that one person who does so little we wonder how they’re still there. Also known as ‘The Grade Magician’ for their ability to pass with no explanation of how.



5. The mum

The one who keeps everything clean, all the drunks in order, and makes sure you only miss every other bin day.



6. The Hugh Hefner

The one who can walk into a club smelling of pre-drink vomit and cigarette smoke and still pull. University sorcery at its finest.



7. The unknown

The subject of much house discussion, this one can leave at 3 AM and return the next day with no explanation of where they’ve been, just a smug look that tells you they had a better night than you did.



8. The alpha

No matter how hard you try, there’s always the one who is well above the group and always will be. Also known as ‘The One to Ignore on Results Day’.



9. The odd ball

When it comes to stealing traffic cones, jumping in fountains and doing countless tequila stuntmen, this student always takes the cake. The one that everyone loves but no one understands, handle with caution.



10. The one who claims to know everything

The one who, just because they are a few years older, becomes the self-appointed campus guru, a sure fire way to make zero friends.



11. The non-stop moaner

No matter how much spare time, cheap booze and free loan they get, they will still moan at every opportunity. Hold your tongue with this one and whatever you do, don’t use the last of their milk.



12. The Jekyll & Hyde

That guy or girl who can be as quiet as a mouse in the day, but as soon as they step foot in a club every aspect of life needs to be discussed. Be quick to shut this one down or your whole night will be ruined and your brain may explode.



13. The student who does a complete 180

Uni is a time for everyone to find themselves, but there’s always that one whose opinions, looks, diet and career path are completely different by graduation time.



14. The choreographer

Normally a performing arts student, this one has a dance number for each and every song in the club. Entertaining yes, but never admit you know them out load.



15. The “what are they on?” guy

The must have for any house party, this student shows up with wider eyes than a Powerpuff Girl and ends the night sweating in the corner. What happens in between is anyone’s guess but we love them none the less.



16. The straight talker

The one who will be brutally honest and make you cringe with awkwardness, but if it’s not happening to you, they can be the best entertainment around.



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