15 Struggles You Face When You’re In a Long Distance Relationship at University
Being a student at university can be difficult at times, and being in a long distance relationship while you’re there can make it even harder.
1. You constantly feel the need to convince yourselves, and everyone else, that whatever the distance, it’s not that far.
2. While battling everyone’s assumptions that you’ll probably just break up soon because “long distance doesn’t work”.
If you haven’t heard it from your parents, you’ve heard it from your flatmates. Everyone thinks they know better than you, even if they’ve never experienced a long distance relationship themselves.
3. Or accusations that your relationship is hindering you from living a proper student life.
“Aren’t you worried you’ll miss out on meeting someone even better here at uni?”
4. Because people rarely understand that you actually don’t spend all your time pining after your partner.
Having the freedom to ‘live your life’ while being in a long distance relationship can be one of the rarer positive perks. The distance can help you grow and develop as a person, learn to become more independent. And, as long-distancers will know, learning to be more independent is not synonymous with being able to sleep with every Tom, Dick and Henrietta you meet.
5. Skype turns into your best friend and your worst enemy.
Inevitably, from the moment you leave for university there are going to be long periods where you won’t be able to see your partner. This is where Skype comes in handy. Y’know, when the signal works or when you finally manage to find a time when you’re both free…
6. Looking forward to actually meeting up in real life so much that you feel like you’re both overdoing it a bit.
At least you both know you missed each other.
7. And struggling to say bye a little more every time you have to leave them again.
8. No matter how strong your relationship is, you can’t help feeling jealous every now and then.
If you don’t see your partner often, the green-eyed monster can rear its ugly head when you least expect it. Like when you hear the names of new friends they’ve never mentioned before. Or when they’re out partying and you’re stuck at home with a deadline looming. Or when there’s a new tagged photo of them on Facebook with their arm around a particularly attractive human being you’ve never met before.
9. And it takes a while to come to terms with the fact that not everyone they meet is a threat.
At first this might be a difficult realisation to adjust to, but if there’s one thing long distance relationships teach you, it’s trust and it works both ways.
10. Because, more often than not, the biggest threat to your relationship is your student loan.
From train tickets to petrol money, surprise gifts to “let’s make the most of seeing each other and push the boat out” dates, your student loan never gets you too far.
11. Realising that the littlest of things can either make your day or cause the most horrendous of arguments.
Remembering every tiny detail of each other’s lives isn’t easy when you’re not together all the time, but putting the effort in might just be the best thing you ever do.
12. And accepting that you’ll both change.
It’s inevitable; university changes you as a person. You end up mixing in different circles and develop new hobbies and interests. But, contrary to popular belief, not all change has to lead to a break up. And if it does, well, maybe you weren’t meant to be together after all.
13. Worrying that things won’t be the same when you’re back together for longer periods of time.
Going from rarely seeing each other to seeing each other every day can quickly move from a novelty to an annoyance. It’s all about finding a balance, if only it were so easy. Absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder.
14. And resisting the temptation to compare your relationship with that of other people.
So someone else’s long distance relationship didn’t work, that doesn’t mean yours won’t. As cliché as it sounds to say that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be, there is some truth behind the words.
15. Because as hard as long distance relationships can be, they make you appreciate what you’ve got more than ever.
And when it works, it might just be the best thing that could’ve happened to you both.