20 Mistakes Every King’s College London Student Has Made At Least Once
We’ve all been there and done some of these things, then totally regretted it.
1. Thinking you can roll out of bed at 8.45am and still make that 9am lecture.
You can’t. Nobody can. Yes, even you, Stamford Street dwellers.
2. Waltzing into the Maughan Library after 11am and still expecting to find a seat.
You had a lie-in, and now you have to deal with the judgey eyes watching you while you do your search of shame. Even room 1M.71 can’t save you now.
Finding an empty seat at the Maughan Library is like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
— Tapir Harbi. (@TapirKafir) April 28, 2016
3. Thinking you can walk to campus, to halls, to the library, or anywhere really.
Wherever you’re going, you’ll end up a sweaty, windswept mess on Waterloo Bridge. Give it up. Get the tube.
4. Or attempting to get the bus around Central London.
Who has time to sit in traffic for an hour? Also, you’re likely to have to deal with hearing the dreaded: “The destination of this bus has changed, please listen for further announcements”. It’s a nightmare. Give it up. Get the tube.
5. Taking the lifts in the King’s Building on Strand Campus.
Takes 20 mins to arrive, immediately breaks down, remains out of service for the next 7 months. And repeat.
6. Or worse, taking the stairs in the King’s Building on Strand Campus.
You thought you were being smart by avoiding the lifts, but now you’re climbing a concrete Everest. Basically, just avoid the King’s Building at all costs.
7. Paying £3 for a Tesco meal deal when you can get a WHOLE PIZZA on campus for £2.50.
Chapters = food of the gods. Unless you’re not on Strand Campus, unlucky.
8. Mentioning the famous ‘rivalry’ to a UCL or LSE student.
Most of us don’t give a shit. But there’s always one UCL guy in chinos harping on about mascots and Varsity. Don’t encourage him.
9. Relying on the King’s IT system for anything.
A 2-week mass system failure right in time for coursework deadlines isn’t even surprising anymore.
10. Forgetting your ID card.
Good luck getting into halls, campus or the library without feeling the wrath of the security guards. There’s nothing like the shame of needing a ‘day pass’.
11. Deciding to have pre-drinks at the Waterfront or Guy’s Bar.
You’re closer to wherever you’re going next, which seems like a good plan. Until you realise the entire uni had the same idea and now you’re cramped in a corner between the pool table and the loos.
12. And going to Walkabout on any day but a Wednesday.
Wednesday or it didn’t happen. Stop pretending you’re too good for cheap shots and fancy dress.
13. Posting pictures of The Shard or Somerset House to detract from the uni’s actual buildings.
People know you don’t go to uni in The Shard. Just embrace all that KCL brutalism.
14. Drinking the coffee from the King’s coffee carts and cafés.
There’s a Starbucks, Costa and Pret on every single corner. Go find one.
15. Dressing for one kind of weather.
This is an amateur move in London, where you can guarantee there’ll be rain in the morning, sunshine by lunchtime, and hail/wind/snow by the time you leave uni at the end of the day. Dress for all kinds of weather. Every day.
16. Attempting to enter the Round Reading Room if you’re not a ‘regular’.
The regulars will spot you from a mile off. They’re like piranhas. Turn around and walk away. Alternatively, return at 7am tomorrow if you really want to commit to the Hunger Games politics of the Round Reading Room.
17. Trying to find obscure places on campus without help.
How does the Chesham building (it’s a building inside a building…) even exist?? It’s all too confusing to go it alone.
18. And trying to find your way around the libraries manually.
This cannot be done. You can’t make sense of a system that is senseless. Always use the guides, unless you want the studious lot in 2M.64 glaring at you until you leave.
19. Committing to the uni’s hipster vibe by moving to Camden or Shoreditch.
No one can afford it. Grab a Zone 1-3 Travelcard and join the rest of us south of the river.
20. But most of all, thinking you would have been better off somewhere else.
What we lack in student satisfaction, we make up for with pretty river views, on-campus food and studying in a city of culture, inspiration and diversity. You know there’s no place like KCL ❤️.