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10 Things Every Northerner at a Southern Uni Knows To Be True

Everyone will stare when you leave the house in a sleeveless or cropped top in December…

1. People immediately start trying to imitate your broad accent, but fail miserably.

Try not to get too offended, though. They’ve just been watching too much Emmerdale.

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2. They struggle with your dialect, too.

Words like ‘bap’ (a bread bun/roll/cob/muffin), ‘brew’ (tea), and ‘scran’ (food) are likely not to be used all that often when you leave the north. Translations may be necessary until your southern friends have adapted to and adopted your vocabulary.

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3. And you just know that they won’t have heard of the village you’re from.

“I’m from Elslack.” “Where’s that?” “It’s near Skipton.” “…” “Leeds. I’m from Leeds.”

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4. It’s often assumed that you are involved in agriculture, given that you are from the north.

Thanks to aforementioned soap Emmerdale, many, if not most, southerners seem to think we all live on a farm. While this is actually true in my case, it isn’t an accurate characterisation of all northerners! That’s like saying all southerners are from London.

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5. No one understands the difference between Yorkshire and Lancashire.

Granted, the accents probably sound the same to anyone from the south, but they’re not the same, and the rivalry is real. Just tell them to look up The War of the Roses.

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6. Concern is expressed whenever you stroll out of the front door without a jumper in Winter.

Politely explain that the weather where you’re from is always about 10 degrees colder than your uni city. What your southern mates consider arctic conditions must feel practically tropical to your hardened, northern skin.

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7. You become the centre of attention for the wrong reason when you drown your chips in gravy.

Fellow students may be disgusted when you are handed that sweet little pot of gravy to go with your weekly chippy. For some reason, this provokes them more than having a side of mushy, marrowfat peas. Look them in the eyes as you smother your chips with it, show them you aren’t ashamed of your northern ways.

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8. You may be seen as ‘tight’ for not wanting to contribute a tenner towards a present for someone who is more your acquaintance than friend.

Spending £50 a week on group fish-and-chip trips and takeaways is fine, but you can’t spend your hard-earned cash on someone you barely even know! Keep the money and spend it on that well-deserved drink at your favourite pub. #sorrynotsorry

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9. Everyone’s definition of tea is wrong.

You may find yourself saying, “Right, I’m off home for my tea” and getting the response, “Do you mean dinner?” Just stand your ground! Tea is just as – if not more – acceptable a term as dinner. Now go and fix yourself a brew before you cook some tea.

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10. And finally, it takes some time for southerners to adjust to your blunt and abrupt approach to life.

Telling your friends how it is 100% truthfully is a great quality to have, as long as you’ve been mates with them for a while. But this isn’t the case with a stranger you’ve just met – it’s easy to offend someone. Don’t change your Northern charm though, just be sure to ease people into your stellar personality.

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