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16 Things You Learn To Hate About Being a Student at The University of Cambridge

More tourists than students.

1. Its obsessively self-referential culture.

How many times have you heard “That’s SO Cambridge!” now? As a Fresher, you’ll love bathing your ego in how special and clever you are, but the self-congratulation wears off. Fast.

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2. And the inescapable figure of The Man

Be it your supervisor, DoS, College Dean, or the captain of your mixed netball team: Cambridge provides ample figures of jackboot authoritarianism against whom you can rail and rage, fulfilling your Che-lite fantasies.

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3. Being late to a supervision because you got stuck behind a group of tourists.

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4. The Oxbridge rivalry.

You take it so seriously at first, but it doesn’t take long for you to realise that you actually couldn’t care less who wins that rowing race. Can we all just get over ourselves?

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5. And the inter-college rivalry.

Seriously though, ripping into St. Johns got boring so long ago.

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6. The pain of hearing your mates at other unis complain about their one essay deadline of the semester.

Try having one a week?

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7. Feeling like you’re not allowed to reveal how much you love Cindies.

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8. The Cambridge language.

“Boaties? … What?” Honestly, you need a phrasebook to carry around these days.

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9. People automatically assuming that you must be a genius.

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10. Or that you only got in because you’re good at exams, not because you’re genuinely intelligent.

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11. Facing judgement for getting something wrong related to your degree subject.

“OMG. Don’t you go to Cambridge, though???”

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12. Memebridge.

Not because you hate it, but because you hate how much time you’ve wasted laughing at it.

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13. The ridiculous cost of the summer balls.

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14. And of Stash.

It’s not even worth it. You forked out for a hoodie that does nothing but make you indistinguishable from everyone else on campus.

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15. Having to correct any assumptions that you don’t have any fun at uni because you’re a Cambridge student.

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16. Most of all though, you learn to hate how beautiful it is because it just makes the thought of one day having to leave so much worse.

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